Reflecting on 2008

As I sit here, thinking back on 2008......2 words come to mind: heartache and pain. This year has been such a rough year for me!! And it started in January with Travis (my then bf, whom I had thought I would spend the rest of my life with) suddenly moving to Chicago. And it was either leave my family and dreamjob and move or stay here. I chose to stay here so therein lies the heartache. But, you live and learn and boy did I learn!! Staying here was definitely for the best, (considering what happened later in the year) and I know Travis is much happier in Chicago and I wish him nothing but the best!! Soooo.....the first few months of 2008 were heartache. Then, in April, started the back pain. Severe back pain and back spasms. As the months past, the pain got worse. I saw doctor after doctor, all of which were giving me different diagnosis. I was constantly in the ER until finally my mom said enough is enough and we saw a specialist in July. That was when I landed in the hospital for the first time EVER for surgery on my spinal fracture. After 5 days in the hospital, I came home and thought I could finish the second half of the year great. But, 2 days after getting out of the hospital, I woke up in severe pain-AGAIN! Back to the ER to find out I had yet another spinal fracture. So, on July 28th, 2008, I landed in the hospital once again. This time, finding out the devastating news that I had the C-word. Acute Lymphoblastic Leukimia. This was NOT my life. I barely remember the first week in the hospital. I was so sick and in so much pain, it's all a blur. But, I was NOT going to let it get the best of me and after only 3 weeks, managed to get dismissed and go home. And 3 weeks later, was in remission. The past 5 months have definitely been rough. Making trip after trip to Ft. Wayne for chemo. Countless times in the hospital. Life has definitely been rough and hey, let's say it...has SUCKED!!!! But, there have been some good points. Meeting Rascal Flatts (yes, again-man are they hot!!;), my vacation to Virginia Beach, my job, my co-workers, my students, my family, my friends, and my relationship with God. This year has taught me SO MUCH about who I am, who my true friends are, and that through Christ, all things are possible. Without God, I know....I KNOW I wouldn't have made it through this year. He is my rock and my salvation and without Him, I would be lost.....maybe even dead. So, in closing this chapter of my life called "The Year 2008", I want to say thank you to my family. Mama-especially you. Without you by my side the past few months......I can not tell you how much I appreciate you. I love you!! My sisters-Bri and Trina. Brianda-without you, I would be lost. A part of me would be missing. You are my very best friend and don't know what I'd do without you. I love you my sister!! Trina-I am so blessed and thankful that God put you in my life before I got this horrible disease. You and your family have been so great through all of this and your faith has helped me more than you know. I love you! My friends-Sara Ro, Am, Michelle, Christa, Ang G, many more friends, my Highmarks family, Ruckman, my co-workers, my cheerleaders, my students!! You guys all rock and I love you all!! Thank you to everyone for your fundraising efforts, donations, gifts, thoughts, and prayers. Keep them coming in 2009! And if I've missed anyone-I apologize. There are so many wonderful people in my life!! And you-this awful, horrible thing we call cancer-IN YOUR FACE!! I have beaten you and I will continue to beat you until you are dead and gone forever. You will never again ruin my life or get the best of me. And to 2009-I am SO ready. Bring on the new year! I hope and pray this year brings health, wealth and LOVE! hahaha....May God bring a new man into my life ;) So-bring on the New Year! And good riddance to 2008!!

Nausea

Well, I woke up this morning feeling fine. Got up to get ready for my day-Church, then Christmas at my Aunt Betty's, then work at CJ's. I decided to eat breakfast before showering so I sat down and ate some cereal. Not even 10 minutes after I finished, I got hit with a huge wave of nausea out of nowhere. Normally when this happens, it's no big deal. I take an anti-nausea pill and am fine. But not today. I had to sprint to the bathroom and yepp.....lost it all. So, it completely ruined my day as I then felt like crap. Missed church, missed Christmas. I knew I couldn't miss work so I slept until about 3:30 then got up to get ready. I felt slightly better and PTL, made it through my shift. Feeling better now, just tired. I'm just completely bummed that I missed Christmas. I missed thanksgiving with this side of the family so I was really looking forward to seeing everyone at Christmas but no....stupid sudden chemo barfing binge. I hate how they come out of nowhere. One minute, I feel great and the next, I'm losing dinner! Sucks. But, thankfully, for the most part, I've been feeling pretty normal. It's been nice to be working at CJ's again. Especially having a little extra money. All these bills are stressing me out!! I'm hoping that I can pick my Weds. night bar shift back up in March. That's when I'll begin my maintanance chemo which is mainly pills. I'm hoping I'll continue to feel as great as I have been (dispite the occasional nausea). It's amazing how this whole expierence has changed me. I feel like a completely different person. God has blessed me so much and I am so thankful for everything He has shown me and done for me. Without Him, I would never have made it through.

Thankful

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I know I did! It was so nice to spend time with my family and watch my nephews open their presents. They were both so excited. Especially Logan, who is 2. He would open one and just want to play with it, not caring he had more to open!! He's too funny. At one point last night, I thought back to last Christmas.....before cancer. It's so stranger to think back with me having cancer now. So unreal. But, the good news is, I felt just as normal this year as I did last year, which is a true blessing from God. I am so thankful to be here, enjoying another Christmas with my family. And so thankful that I felt like a normal person....cancer free!! And with God's good graces, I'll be cancer free for the rest of my life.

Chemo Tuesday went fine. There was a girl scout troupe there singing Christmas carols and playing bingo. I won 2 bingo games =) They also had cookies and hot chocolate for us. Such nice girls. The weather started to get bad while I was there so I ended up staying at my sister's. I'm now done with this course and have one more to go before I start maintanance. I don't go back until Jan. 5th and I get my bone marrow tested that day. I should start the last round on Jan. 12th. This last course is going to be tough, as it contains the stuff that makes me sick. Not looking forward to it but I know it's needed for my treatment. I'll be so glad when this is all over!! I am definiately sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!!

Merry Christmas!!

I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a safe and wonderful holiday with your families as we rejoice in celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior!

Merry Christmas!!

Too funny

Some quotes I've found that made me laugh hysterically or were just good quotes. Because you've GOT to have a good attitude in order to fight this disease called cancer!!

Go ahead....poke my port
Dear cancer: You are a sorry piece of s#%* that's messed with the wrong person this time! I will destroy you and love every minute of it!! -Me
I shaved my head because I have cancer so quit staring!
I love the smell of chemo in the morning.
Stupid Chemo imtooyoungforthis.org
My oncologist is my BFF
I have cancer.....cancer does NOT have me
Hair design by chemo
I pay my oncologist big bucks for this hairstyle!
I've got chemobrain, what's your excuse?
Cancer may have started the fight....but I will finish it
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired
I'm confused....wait!....maybe I'm not. (Just blame it on the chemo)

There are so much more but it would make this post reeeeeeeeaally long if I posted them all. Tomorrow is chemo day....YAY! haha Not really but it's a fact of life. The weather is supposed to get bad again tomorrow so I'll most likely end up staying at my sister's. I HATE driving in snow and ice. Hopefully the weather will be ok for Weds so we can get to my parents for Christmas. I'd love a white christmas but it sounds like it's just going to be a wet one!!

Who needs a title?

My weekend went pretty good. Friday night we played New Bremen. Lost, which was a bummer but that's ok. Last night, we played St. Mary's and won. It was our first home game and I felt like I was running around like a crazy person! My legs were so sore today! I think it's from all the walking and climbing the bleacher stairs. But, I'll live. Last night was so fun. I love coaching and at home games, the pep band is there so I broke out my saxophone last night and played. =) Today, I completely overslept for church. Not sure what my problem is lately but I've been sleeping way to much! After the Bengals/Browns game, which the Bengals WON!!!! I cleaned my house and got the lasagna ready for our cheer Christmas party here tomorrow. So, now I'm just relaxing. I'm so excited for Christmas and spending time with my family!

School's out til '09!

Well, school was cancelled again today. So far, our game in Bremen is still on, so I'll have something to do tonight! Now we're off school until Jan. 5th!! Thankfully, I'll be busy during those 2 weeks so I shouldn't be bored. I can't wait til Christmas! I love spending time with my family and I can't wait to see them all. I have chemo on Tuesday so hopefully I feel well during the holidays!

Weather

School was cancelled yesterday and I assumed we'd go today but apparenly I was wrong. I don't think it was that bad this morning but I could be wrong with back roads and such. Tonight, we're supposed to get more bad weather so who knows if we'll go tomorrow. I've been SO BORED the past couple of days!!! We start christmas vacation after tomorrow, which I'll be busy during that, better than sitting around here which is what I've been doing. So, we'll see what happens with the weather tonight and if we go to school tomorrow. Gotta love winter!!

You got the better deal......

So, I got a text tonight from my sister (love you!). She said she was looking at a picture of us from the Rascal Flatts concert in May and complaining about how much thinner her face was then. My reply was: and I had hair! She got pregnant and I got cancer. I told her she got the better deal. My sister-you are beautiful inside and out and being pregnant makes you that much more beautiful! You are going to have a beautiful, cute little baby and once you have that, you'll lose whatever extra weight you may think you have chasing your kids around! It won't take you long at all to look like that picture. No worries =) I, on the other hand, will take awhile, most likely a year or two, before I look even close to how I looked in that picture. My hair looks like peach fuzz, and until I'm done with the stupid chemo, it's not going to grow too fast. And my face and the rest of me.....I feel like I've blown up like a freaking balloon!!! So, you my sister, definitely got the better deal. But, that's ok. I would much rather be the one who has the cancer. =) You just be the one who has lots of nieces and nephews for me to love and spoil. You, my sistere, mean the world to me and are beautiful ALL the time. And you have the greatest husband and family to be thankful for! Both of my sisters do. And I'm so thankful to have such a wonderful family. I just wish everyone was closer. I hate being alone in this town. I know....I'm complaining. But, it's my blog, I'm allowed! And, to top it all off, I got my gas bill today and about passed out. Bills and money are really starting to stress me out. I have so many medical bills and my rent, gas, utilities, grocery's. It's just overwelming. Yes, I have insurance. But there are some things that they are either disputing or not covering so it's money out of my pocket. And I'm starting to worry. BUT-I know God will provide. He always does. So, I will give it all to Him to take care of. And I'll worry about kicking this cancer's butt!!

On a side note-I encourage everyone to go to www.standuptocancer.org It's a great website raising money for cancer research!!

One more week

Only one more week of school, then we're off for 2 weeks!!! I'm so excited for Christmas break. I absolutely love Christmas and am so thankful to be here. It's been a very busy weekend. I've barely been home so I haven't beenable to relax much. Friday night was the game, last night I worked at CJ's, and today was our Christmas choir concert. It was a nice weekend but I'm ready to relax!! This week will also be a busy week so I'll be super ready for a nice 2 weeks off. It's been nice to work at CJ's twice this week. It gave me a little money to buy my family Christmas presents!=) God has really blessed me and my family has been so wonderful. I'm so thankful to have some extra money to get them gifts. And-some great news for today-the Bengals actually WON!! haha....I was so happy and shocked! So, all in all a good weekend but this week will be long! I'll actually be at work all 5 days! No treatment this week! I don't go back til the 23rd. Praise God for that!!

First game

Tonight was the first basketball game of the season and we won =) 59-57. Very exciting.

Chemo yesterday went fairly well. It was definitely a long day though. I was exhausted by time it was all over though. I have about 2 1/2 months more of hard core treatments. Then in March, I'll start my maintenance chemo, which is mainly pills and a once a month visit to the doctor. I can't wait for that!! Maintenance will last 2 years, which sucks, but at least it won't be too bad (at least it doesn't sound too bad!) And January and February's chemo isn't fun so pray I make it through that without any sickness!!

Well, I'm exhausted still from yesterday and today's long day so I'm off to bed. Tomorrow night, I'm working at CJ's again so I need to be rested! ;)

First night at Highmarks

Tonight was my first night back at Highmarks. I shared a party of about 20-25 people with another server and it went great. I had some trouble carrying the large tray's but the other servers helped out which I REALLY appreciated. My legs and back are only a little sore but other than that, it was so great to be back!! I'm actually thinking about picking up another shift on Saturday evening. It's nice to be out and around my Highmarks friends again. But, I'm going to wait and see how I feel tomorrow. I had a wonderful birthday dinner with my family last night. Very good food. I have treatment on Thursday and it includes the I.T. which is the spinal shot.....YUCK! The week of Christmas I have to get a bone marrow biopsy. Merry Christmas to me!! Not looking forward to that but we have to make sure I'm still in remission. Which I know I am. God is continually healing me on a daily basis. I am so thankful and blessed to be feeling so well. I pray that I continue to feel good. Well, I am wiped from my long day so I am off to bed!

Birthday wishes

Today has been a great day. Thank you all for your birthday wishes, singing =), cards and gifts. I'm so thankful for being here another year. God has blessed me so much this past year. It's been a rough 4 months but He has gotten me through and will continue to do so with His wonderful grace. I've been doing so great lately and I'm so thankful for that. I hope and pray that I continue to feel great. It's been so nice to be at work every day. I love my job (I know I've said that before, but my job is the BEST!!) and I enjoy getting up every morning and going to work. So, I'm off to Mongolian Grill with my parents to eat....YUMM!! Chow for now!

weekend

Well, my weekend was pretty good. Yesterday, I spent the day with my sister in Ft. Wayne. It was a great day but since the weather got nasty, I ended up having to stay at her house. My nephews loved that! =) It was great to spend time with all of them though. Today was our Christmas band concert at school. After that, my brother took me out to eat for my birthday tomorrow. So, by time I got home at 7, it was the first time I'd been home to relax since yesterday morning!! I am so TIRED!!! But, it was a great weekend. My cold is finally going away, PTL! Tomorrow, my parents are coming down to take me out for my birthday. We're going to the Mongolian grill....yumm!! I'll be 26 and I am so grateful and blessed to be here after everything I've gone through this year. And I wil continue to kick this cancer's butt!!!

Blaaaaaahhhhhh

Well I THOUGHT my cold was going away but I'm still fighting the stupid thing. I keep sneezing and my nose is running.....yuck. I just want it to go away!!! I need to feel better by the weekend!! Saturday, my sister Bri and I are going to hang out all day for my birthday. So excited! =) Monday is my actual birthday and my parents are coming down to go out to dinner with me. What do I want for my birthday, you ask?? HA Do I need to answer that? I want something that I can not have yet....NO MORE TREATMENTS!! But, I still have 2 more years of this crap. Oh well....thats my life I guess. And I'm getting through and kicking butt, which I will continue to do. But, I still plan on having a good birthday this year ;) I'm so thankful and blessed to be here another year!!

Getting better

Today was treatment day and it was loooooong! I was at the office for 5 hours!!! Not fun. But, my cold is going away and the doctor said my counts are good so I should be getting better. I stopped in at CJ's tonight and actually picked up a serving shift for next Tuesday! =) I'm so excited! I want to slowly try and get back to work there so I figured one night would be good. It'll probably take me a bit to get back to my regular Weds night bartending shift, as that takes alot of heavy lifting but I will do it!! I've been feeling pretty normal lately, which is great. It's been so nice to go to work everyday! So, I'm excited to work at CJ's again. God is truly healing me and I am so blessed and thankful for that. I know I've been kinda down and lonely lately and worried about where I should live but I know God has a plan for me. I just have to pray for His guidance and be open to what He has in store. And be patient....which if you know me at all, you know that is something I lack! haha ;) So, I am trusting in the Lord with all my heart and leaning not on my own understanding. In all my ways, I'm acknowledging him and I know He will direct my path straight!! =) (One of my favorite bible verses!)

Yesterday, I put up my tree. Yes, all by myself. Very heavy but I did it!! So my house is all nice and Christmasey =) Stop by and check it out!!

Fighting off a cold....

Well, this has not been the most enjoyable break, thats for sure!! I'm trying to fight off a head cold, which for me, is not easy. A typical cold for me can turn into something much worse, since my infection fighters aren't 100%. So, I'm fighting like mad and on some antibiotics until I go for treatment on Monday. It's mainly just a stuffy head and scratchy throat and I'm TIRED! So, pray it goes away! Today I'm just laying around. I still have yet to put up my Christmas tree but I'm not sure if I have the energy to do it. Nor do I think I can do it by myself so we'll see. So-pray that whatever this is I'm fighting off, goes away FAST and I can get some rest.

Happy Turkey Day!!

Happy Turkey Day everyone!! I hope you all have a wonderful, blessed holiday with your family!! I know I will! Can't wait to eat some turkey ;)

Another post because I'm.......

LONELY!! This flipping sucks. I either need a roommate or a pet and considering I'm almost 26 years old, finding a decent roommate anymore is hard. I just get so bored and lonely sitting here at night, watching TV. I love my job, I love my house......just wish my family were in Celina. Not spread all over the darn state!!! It was so nice when my mom was here helping me out. Wonder if she'd come live with me??? haha....her hubby might not like that lol. I asked my sister if I could have one of her kids haha. I'm sure she'd let me for a day for sure, but not for keeps ;) Does anybody have any suggestions??? Living along is not fun!

This cancer may get my body.....

but it can NOT get to my soul. This has been such an up and down week for me. For some reason, everything has just really been getting me down. The treatments, the bills, feeling sick....basically feeling sorry for myself, which I was told today that it's ok to do that every once in awhile. I went to church this morning and it really helped. To lean on my church family and God.....that's the best medicine. I'm still a little down, but I'm really looking forward to this week. And I don't have treatment until Dec. 1st!! So, I'm praying for a great week. Also, you may or may not know that the house I am renting has been for sale the entire time I've lived in it. Well, I'm trying to work it out so I can purchase it and get it off the market. I'm not sure how, with 2 more years of treatments and bills but I'm hoping and praying that maybe we can work out some sort of land contract until I'm through with chemo, then try to get a loan to purchase it. So, please pray that all of that works out!! I love this house so much, I want to stay for good. =) Well, have a good week everyone. Please keep me in your prayers. I know God is so wonderful and He is going to lift my spirits. God Bless!

GO BUCKS!!

That's all I'm saying =) Let's go Scarlet and Gray!!!

Feeling better

I'm starting to feel better mood wise, which is good. Going to work definitely helps. The students make me laugh, which is great medicine =) Today was treatment day and it wasn't too bad. Right now, I'm feeling a little yuck, but this treatment doesn't bother me too bad so I'll be fine. Thank you all for your support through comments and your prayers. It really helps to know people care =)
I'm really excited for next week. My cousin, Lindsey, is coming home for Thanksgiving and staying here with me. We're actually going to go out on the town Weds night, which I'm so excited for! Just to get out and see people!! I'll be drinking water, of course =) It'll just be so great to get out!!! And I can't wait to see my family on Thanksgiving. Well, I'm going to make some dinner so chow for now! =)

Feeling low

The past couple of days, I've been feeling kinda low. I'm trying not to let it get the best of me but I'm just so sick of feeling sick and tired, and my back aching and getting bill after bill that techinically the insurance should be paying so I have to make call after call to get it paid for......and not having anyone to talk to because it seems the majority of my friends have dissapeared....I'm not trying to have a bitchfest but this is a blog and a place to vent I guess. Things aren't completely bad. I mean I LOVE my job and being at work makes me happy. I love the people I work with and my students. I just hate missing and the past few days, I haven't been able to get there at 8:00. I'm trying, I really am. I just want to be normal again. I never in a million years thought this would be happening to me. And believe me, I'm still fighting this like mad because I will NOT let the enemy win. And feeling this way is the enemy working so please pray for me. I know God is with me and trying to carry me through, I just need to let Him work. So, enough complaing. Time to get positive again.

weekend

Well, Friday night was our final football game. It was a GREAT game and I hate that it's over. Thankfully the rain held off until the very end up the game. God is so great, isn't he? The bus ride there was a little hectic. I felt sick twice so we had to stop the bus. I felt SO bad but they said it was ok. The ride home was better, thank goodness. Then, yesterday, my parents came over to help do some stuff around the house. It was really nice to see them and have some company. We ate dinner at Bella's which was yummy. After they left, my friend Dawn stopped by. I hadn't seen her since before I got sick so it was so nice to visit with her. Today was just a lazy day. After my busy week, I was exhausted!! And the Bengals, of all things, TIED today. No one won. Weirdest game ever!!

As for the CJ's benefit, it went very well and I am SO thankful to everyone who had a part in it. I have 2 more years of treatment so all the fundraisers are such a blessing. I'm saving every penny too! 2 years is a long time and I want to be sure I can get through it. But I know with God's help, I will be fine. I am conquering this disease and coming out on top, a better person and stronger in my faith. Our God is an AWESOME God!!

THANK YOU!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who came out to the benefit last night! I'm pretty sure it was a huge success!! And thank you SO MUCH to my Highmarks family!! You guys rock and I love you all!!! I had so much fun last night seeing everyone and visiting with the customers. I think I sat down for a total of a half hour! The rest of the time, I was walking around talking. I was sore by the end of the night, but it was a good sore! =) I was so tired though so I didn't go to work today until 10:00. And my back was pretty sore this morning but I was much better after lunch. All in all, it was a pretty good day. Tomorrow night is the football game so pray for nice weather!! I'm so excited! I'll be sure to dress warmly and I'm praying its a dry night!

Thank you all again for coming out and supporting me last night. I truly appreciate it!! =)

Feeling great

Today was a great day. I made it to work at 8am and felt great all day! My lower back has been hurting all day where they gave me the I.T. chemo but other than that, its been great. God is so great in answering my prayers to stay feeling good!! And I am so excited for tomorrow evening, for the CJ's benefit!! I can't wait to see everyone! Until then, I'm going to take it easy the rest of the night. See you tomorrow! =)

Treatment day

Today wasn't too bad. When we first got to the office, my nurse said I might be able to take this week off (which would've been fine with me!) but had to check with the dr first. Well, it turned out I got treatment anyways, which was ok. The I.T. of course was awful. When he inserted the needle into my spine, he was close to a nerve by my right leg so there was a pain shooting down it but the dr said it was normal and he was almost done. So, I made it through. I don't have to go back until next Thurday which is GREAT! The doctor said I'm doing so well and she's so glad. Same here! I'm a fighter and I will never give up. God has been with me through this entire disease and I know He will help me fight it and get rid of it. I AM HEALING! HE IS HEALING ME! And I praise Him daily for that. I have such a testimony to share with people and I can't wait to start!!

Great movie

Well, the movie was great and the boys actually both behaved during it and watched the whole thing! It was a cute movie and pretty funny. I'd recommend going and seeing it! I love going to Ft. Wayne and spending time with my sister and her family. My nephews are so cute and soon I'll have another one! =) I can't wait! We're still hoping for a girl though, of course! ;) Tomorrow is treatment day and I have to get I.T. chemo which is the stuff in my spine. Not fun, but necessary. So, keep me in your prayers that I get through it ok and have a great week again. I know God will be with me and I will though =) Have a great week everyone!

Quicky coming at ya!

This is going to be a quicky as my sister and I are getting ready to take my nephews to see Madagascar 2. But, I met a man at church today who's 22 year old daughter was just diagnosed a few weeks ago with bone cancer. He said she's having a rough time of it and I just wanted to blog and let her know I KNOW what she's going through. Don't give up! The first month or two of treatments is the worst but you'll get through. Put your trust and faith in God and He will guide you and carry you through this difficult time in your life. My personal battle with cancer has made my faith and relationship with God stronger and I have to thank Him for that. This is the worst possible disease in the world and at any time I could blame Him or think it's too hard and give up but I will NOT give in to the enemy and I hope you do the same. I want to share with you a verse that got me through the beginning stages of my cancer. It's from Phillipians 4: 4-7. It says: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I hope this helps you in some way. I would love to meet you at some point, if that would be ok with you. Until then, I will keep you in my prayers!

Well, I'm off to take my nephews to the movies (who are already fighting...this should be fun lol =) Have a great Sunday everyone! God Bless!

GO CAVS!

After a great week, I am exhausted! But it's a good exhausted =) I went to the game last night in Piqua and actually rode the bus with the band. It didn't bother my back or make me sick to my stomach which was good. The game was awesome and the Cavs won! It was a chilly game but I was dressed in multiple layers and kept warm. Next week should be an awesome game and I can't wait. Wednesday is also the CJ's fundraiser which I 'm also excited for. I can't wait to see everyone! Today, I don't think I'm doing a thing. It's cold and windy outside and I'm tired from a busy week. I think I'll just lay around the house and watch TV. I need to go to the store but don't feel like it today.....at least not right now....maybe later =) So, I'm going to take it easy and lounge around.

First full day

Today was my first full day back to work. I was actually able to get there at 8 (ok so it was 8:15 lol) and I stayed until 4. I have to say I am pooped!! It was a great day though and I plan on getting there tomorrow at 8 as well. I absolutely LOVE my job. It is the best job in the world and I thank God every day for allowing me to work at such a wonderful school and with such wonderful people and students. I LOVE IT!! Music is everything to me and I am so thankful to have a job in it. I look forward to going to work every day!

I've been feeling pretty good lately and I'm praying it continues. It was so beautiful outside today that I took a walk when I got home. The dr told me I need to start walking and getting some exercise. Next week's treatment is on Monday. I have to get the I.T. which is the shot in my spine that I HATE but I know is vital to my remission. I'm also supposed to get the intramuscular shot (the shot I reacted to last week) but they're not sure if they're going to continue to give it to me. The first time I got it, it was in 2 shots and I was fine. The second time, it was in 1 shot and I reacted so who knows. They'll tell me on Monday what they decided!!

Next Weds, the 12th, CJ Highmarks is having a benefit for me from 4-10. ALL tips and 40% of sales will be presented to me. They're also having an auction with merchandise from various local businesses at 7. I am so thankful to them for putting on this benefit. I can not thank them enough!! And I'm looking forward to attending and seeing my golfers!! =) As well as my friends and everyone else! Hope to see you all there!

Well.....

Earlier, when I blogged, I was very angry and upset. But after posting my original post (which I've deleted) I calmed down and decided to start over. This disease has taught me so much.....and has brought me closer in my walk with God. And I am so thankful for that. I have continually been blessed throughout this disease and I know God will continue to bless and heal me. It's been a good week and I know things will continue to get better. Thank you to those of you who have stuck by me and helped me along the way. And to those of you who continue to send your donations, thoughts and prayers. I truly appreciate it. Hopefully, I can find a way to "Pay it Forward".

I actually voted today. I originally said I wasn't going to but decided to anyways. I pray that God gives us a president who can help and lead our country.

Bengals finally win!

The Bengals finally won today!! And I had a great weekend! Friday night, the Cavs won the first game of the tournament. Yesterday, I had a great day hanging out with my sister and her family. My little 2 year old nephew was hilarious, as always. Brandt, my older nephew, was with his dad so I didn't get to see him. Logan though.....he is too funny. He always looks at my port sight and says it's my owie and kisses the opposite side. So cute. But, when I went to go home, he said I was going to where the helicopter was....meaning he thinks I live at he hospital =( Kinda sad but he hasn't been to my house in awhile and he's little so he doesn't know. I had to laugh. Today, I lounged around and slept. I was so exhausted after working all week. I'm trying so hard to get back full time but I haven't made it by 8am yet. It's hard to get up early after sleeping all the time. Plus, my legs hurt cause I'm not used to being on them so much and my back hurts from sitting at the piano and not being used to it. I haven't played since graduation so it'll take time to get used to it again. But, the pain isn't near as bad as before. It's only a dull ache, which the doctors said I'll get arthritis in my back from the surgery (fun). I know it'll get better in time. God is continuing to heal me every day and I am so thankful for that. Last week, a friend of mine commented on how positive and comical I am about my cancer. I told her that being depressed about it and having a woe is me attitude will get me no where. Positivity and faith in God will conquer this disease and get me through and thats just what I'm doing!! Winning the fight =)

Skin

Ever since I was diagnosed with leukemia, the song Skin (Sara Beth) by Rascal Flatts has been stuck in my head. So, I thought I would post the lyrics. I loved the song when it first came out but now it really hits home and has a whole different meaning to me.

Sara Beth is scared to death, To hear what the doctor will say
She hasn't been well, since the day that she fell, And the bruises just won't go away
So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad, And flips through an old magazine
Till the nurse with the smile stands at the door, And says will you please come with me
Sara Beth is scared to death, Cause the doctor just told her the news
Between the red cells and white, something's not right, But we're gonna take care of you
Six chances in ten, it won't come back again, With the therapy we're gonna try
It's just been approved, it's the strongest there is. I think we caught it in time
Sara Beth closes her eyes.
And she dreams she's dancing, Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close, And a soft wind is blowing her hair
Sara Beth is scared to death, As she sits holding her mom
Cause it would be a mistake for someone to take, A girl with no hair to the prom
For just this morning, right there on her pillow, Was the cruelest of any surprise
And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands, The proof that she couldn't deny
Sara Beth closes her eyes
And she dreams she's dancing, Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close, And a soft wind is blowing her hair
It's quarter to seven, that boy's at the door, And her daddy ushers him in
And when he takes off his cap, They all start to cry
Cause this morning where his hair had all been, Softly she touches just skin
And they go dancing, around and around, Without any cares
And her very first true love is holding her close
And for a moment she isn't scared

What an interesting treatment day

Yesterday, Monday, was my treatment day. It started out normal. My friend Sara picked me up a little before 9 and we headed to Ft. Wayne. The office was really busy so everything seemed to be taking forever. My appt was at ten but I didn't even start my treatment until 12:30. I had to get a shot in my hip and an injection in my port, both of which I've had before. Last time, the shot in my hip was 2 seperate shots since it was so much medicine. This time, for some reason, it came in one shot, which I questioned but the nurse said it should be ok. So, I got the shot in my left hip. After you get the shot, you have to wait an hour to make sure you don't react. So, after an hour, we left. I was hungry for Olive Garden so we went there for lunch. As we were sitting there eating, my leg started to itch. I didn't think much of it until my elbows started itching. I looked and I had huge bumps all over them. I ran to the bathroom quick to check the rest of me and my legs were completely covered in bumps. I started freaking out. I ran back to the table and told Sara we had to hurry back to the office. By time we got there, my arms were covered, my eyes were red and puffy, and my tongue was swelling. Freaky. When I got to the office, I have never seen them move so fast. They reaccessed my port and immediately gave me hydrocortisone and benadryl. After about 20 minutes, I was still itching so they gave me more benadryl. Now, most people fall asleep after one dose of benadryl so after 2, they said I'd be out. No such luck. The rash started to go away but then for some reason, came back worse!! At this point, it was almost 5 and the office was closing so the doctor said there was only one thing left to do since it was getting worse.....go to the ER. I was not happy about this as every time I go there, I get admitted. And, she said I had to go in the squad! Great!! So I went to the ER in the squad (the lights weren't on as is wasn't an emergency) and on the way there I got more benadryl. Yeah, I should've been out like a light but I wasn't. The rash started to go away again at the ER but after about an hour, it came back worse again. This time, I was given more benadryl (yeah most people would've been out cold after this much) and an Epipen injection, which is adrenaline. After about an hour, the rash disapeared and the dr released me, thank goodness!! But, halfway home, it started to come back!! I didn't want to go to the ER again so I just took more benadryl and prayed for the best. You'd think I would've slept great last night after all that benadryl, but no such luck. I slept horribly. But, I did wake up this morning and the rash was gone. So, yesterday was a very interesting day. Today's been pretty normal. I went to work this morning and plan on going back full time tomorrow. I'm ready to get back to normal!!

What a weekend

I had a great weekend!! The wedding was so much fun. Sara looked so beautiful! And it was so great to be OUT OF MY HOUSE! And better yet, seeing my friends and just hanging out and having a good time. I had a lot of fun. Today, I went to church then went to Delphos with my dad to see my grandma. She's in a nursing home and isn't expected to make it much longer. I pray God takes her peacefully home. Then I went to Lima since I was halfway there. Dad came along. We ate at Golden Corral...yummy, then stopped at the mall quick. I wanted to pick up a SpongeBob lamp for Logan for christmas. I can't wait to give it to him. He loves his SpongeBob =) Too cute. So, tomorrow is my treatment day but it should be a good day still. This treatment doesn't bother me like last week. I'm going to try to go to school this week full days. I've got to get back!! Friday is our first playoff game which I'm excited for! It should be a great week!

Bring on the rain

Well, weds evening, my temp ended up getting over 103. Yeah, way to high huh. So, my stepdad ended up taking me to Lutheran ER AGAIN at 10 that night. And I ended up being admitted....AGAIN! And here's the best part (sense sarcasm here) when the doctor saw me today, he said it was only a chemo fever and I could have just stayed home and taken tylenol, there was no need to come to the ER. WHY DIDNT THEY TELL ME THAT LAST WEEK??? He said the type of treatment I got last week and this week is known for high fevers. Since I'm getting further into remission, its starting to affect me differently. I felt fine yesterday but since I didn't get admitted until after midnight weds, I couldn't see the dr til today so I had to stay. The doctor said I only need to worry about a high fever if my counts are low and my counts are up and good so.....Next time, I'll stay home!! He cleared me for all normal activity. He even said I could go to the game, just stay warm and dry. So, I'm going but I'm not going to stay the entire time. I just want to see the halftime show. I know we'll win so no worries there =) Tomorrow I have a friend's wedding to go too. I'm so excited because I havent seen my friends in forever!! I feel pretty good and I'm ready to get back to normal. Next weeks treatment is only one day and this particular type of treatment doesn't bother me so I should be good. Ready to get back to work!!! GO CAVS!!

Not again

Well, I totally meant to make it to work today but my head hurt and of course, I felt nauseous. So, I ended up falling asleep. Now, my head still kinda hurts, I don't feel well, and I have a slight fever. Praying I feel better tomorrow and Friday, get through the treatment and get to work! Please pray for me!

Great kids......great community

I was able to make it to work today which was great! WhenI got there, I checked my email first thing and I had an email from the elementary princi pal. Apparently, on Friday, a boy came into the office with a large tub of change. He said he wanted to donate it all to me. He didn't want it counted, he said he had been saving it for his family vacation but instead decided to give it to me! What a sweet little boy!!! I'm hoping to meet him this week to give him a big hug!! This just shows how great of a school and community Coldwater is!! They have all helped me so much with giving to all the fundraisers...it's just so overwelming at times!! I can''t say enough how proud I am to work at Coldwater and be a part of such a wonderful school and community. THANK YOU ALL!!! You are truly all God's angels on earth.

So, tomorrow is treatment.....the same kind as last week. I pray (and ask for your prayers as well) that I stay healthy this week and for the weeks to come!! I think I'm close to being done with the hard stuff and in the next month of so, treatment should get easier but let me tell you....I don't think any of it's easy. I still sit back sometimes or look in the mirror and think "Is this my life?? " A year ago this is not at all where I thought I'd be. Funny how God's plan is so different than what you plan. He always knows best. He allowed me to get this disease because he knew I would kick its butt and WIN THE FIGHT and come out stronger in my faith and stronger in life. It's a hard disease to fight but I AM DOING IT!! I will BEAT this thing to death and be the healthy, happy person I was before. Yes, I'm happy now. I absolutely LOVE my job. I hate that I'm not back full time yet but I will be soon. My family has been so great. My friends-I MISS YOU ALL!! I haven't seen anyone in ages it seems! My CJ's family-wow, I really miss you guys!! When you're working, you think you're sick of the place (haha) but believe me...when you're not there, you miss it!! And I miss you guys!! And my golfers =) Hope they're treating you well KC!! Hopefully, I'll be back soon! I thank EVERYONE for all your thoughts, prayers, donations, and fundraiser efforts. You have all been so awesome!!

Well, I'll post tomorrow and hopefully be feeling good. I don't want to miss the game Friday!! =)

Still doing ok

I'm still feeling good with no fever, which is good. I still think it was the chemo.....the same chemo I'm supposed to get this week. Mom and I are going to talk to the doctor though to see if we can change it as it seems to always set me back. I'm going to work tomorrow with hopes of going Weds-Friday as well and getting back to the football games. This Friday is the last regular scheduled game then we're onto tournament which I'm SO excited for! I need and AM GOING to stay healthy. I have complete faith in God that He is going to pull through for me and make me 100% healthy! He is an awesome God and continues to bless me. Thank you all for your continued prayers!

Home again

Well, I didn't make it to the rest of my treatments or work the rest of the week. I ended up being sick all night Weds and getting a fever of 101.7. So, I ended up in the Lutheran ER on Thursday morning. They got my vomiting under control but my temp was still high so I got admitted. I was NOT happy. They ran a bunch of tests and stuff. I woke up today feeling much better. I think it was the chemo that made me so sick because this happened the last time I had this type of treatment too. But, the doctors are worried it may possibly be my new port. But, when the dr came in today, she said so far the blood cultures on the port are negative and since I was feeling better, she let me come home, PTL! So, now we just have to pray that the port is fine and the doctors can figure out why I keep getting sick. Keep me in your prayers! I just want to feel great and get back to my life. I HATE missing work and football games!! Right now, I'm missing the game and it sucks. But, the Cavs are winning which helps. So, GO CAVS! And pray I stay healthy.

bad day

this is the week of 4 day treatments and today was not a good day. I feel awful. Please pray I feel better and I can get to my treatments and to work the rest of the week.

Sunday, sunday

Today was a good day but I've been so busy doing things, this is the first I've sat down and gotten comfortable!! And it's almost time for bed. But its been a good day and I'm thankful for that. This week is a 4 day treatment week so I'm praying it goes well and I keep feeling great through it all. I've got to get back to work full time and keep it that way otherwise......BUT I refuse to worry about it because I know God is in control. So, its been a great weekend. Praying for a great week! =)

Amazing people

All I can say is WOW!! Last night, at the game, I was presented with 2 more fundraiser checks, totaling over $5800.00!! Coldwater FCCLA-Thank you so much!! First, the car wash, now the Penny Stall. You guys have raised so much money for me and I can never thank you enough!! To my band students, Mr. Ruckman, Mr. Lehman, and the band boosters-You guys are the best!! I absolutely love the Win the Fight bracelets and for you to donate all the money from the sale of them is so wonderful!! And people are still buying them!! I can never thank you enough for all you have done!!

I have never felt so blessed with all of these fundraisers. I definitely wouldn't be able to pay my bills without this money coming in. And there's still more fundraisers being planned!! I know the freshman and sophomore class at Coldwater is planning a dance with proceeds going to me. CJ Highmarks ((I miss you guys!!) are also planning a benefit for me on Weds. Nov. 12th from 4-10. All tips and a proceed of the evenings sales will go to me. They are also holding some auctions as well. I am so overwelmed with all of the fundraising efforts. It means so much and I truly appreciate it. Words can not describe how thankful I feel. God is SO AWESOME and you are all truly his angels in disguise!! THANK YOU!!!!

Quick update

Just a quick update to let everyone know I'm doing great. The past 2 days, I've felt great and I couldn't feel more blessed. God has been so great to me. I'm praying that I continue to feel great. I'm trying so hard to get back to work full days (I've only been working 1/2-3/4 days) butI don't want to rush it or push to fast. I know God is continuing to heal me and I'll keep feeling better and better. Tomorrow is going to be another busy Friday with work and the game tomorrow night. It's our JH band show, where the 7th and 8th grade bands march with us. It's also All Squad Night which means the 7th and 8th grade as well as the JV will cheer with the Varsity. So, it's going to be a busy night. But, I'm looking forward to it!! =) Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Treatment Tuesday

We made it to Bri's last night close to 9. Both boys were still up and were pretty excited to see us. Logan was pretty wound up but he is so funny. Definitely great to see all of them. We got up at 5am (YAWN-so tired!!) and were at the hospital by 6. On the way to the hospital, I really wasn't as nervous as I was the night before. God is so great in calming nerves! They did the I.T. chemo first, which by time I got checked in and all ready to go, it was 830. As soon as they were done with that, they flipped me over for the port placement. The numbing was probably the worst part. The gave me anastesia (however you spell it....happy drugs lol). It didn't knock me out, just made me drousy. I had to fast the night before from midnight til after the procedure. By time they were done, it was a little after 11. I had to lay there for an hour to make sure I didn't have any sort of reaction. It was still pretty numb so I wasn't really in pain but I could barely move my neck due to the numbing medicine. Sooooo, after we left the hospital, I was starving of course, so we went to IHOP. I had strawberry crepes....SO GOOD!, along with eggs, toast and bacon. I felt pretty good which was great. But, after we were done and got in the car, I started to get nauseated for some reason. I tried to do deep breathing and keep it together but I knew it wasn't happening. I asked mom to pull into a gas station but I didn't make it that far. At the stop light, I had to open the car door and.....well......yeah. You get the idea. The light ended up turning green and I told mom who cares, just turn on the flashers. There was no way I was making it to the gas station. So, after all that was done, we made it to the doctor's office ok. I told the doctor my morning and she said I got sick due to the happy drugs and eating then moving in the car. Needless to say, I felt great after we left the doctor, which I am so thankful for. Since I felt pretty good, mom and I headed for the mall =) We were there for over 2 hours. I had an Auntie Anne's pretzel ( I LOVE THEM!!!). After that, we ended up going back to my sister's for dinner, which was nice to spend more time with them. We left there around 8 and got home around 930. So, it has been a looooooooong day, but all in all, a fairly decent day. God is so great in answering prayers. Thank you all!! My port is starting to hurt a little, which the doctor said it would be tender for a few days. But, after a few days, it should be fine, so we'll see. My counts were high, which is great, PTL! And, I'm feeling great (except being tired, but I've been up since 5!) So, I should be able to work the rest of the week and get to the game. The next 2 weeks is 4 day treatments but NO I.T!!! So, hopefully its not too bad. Thank you for your continued prayers. God is so great and has blessed me so much through all of this. I know He'll continue to get me through.

Pray for me

Tomorrow's the big day.....and I have to say I'm slightly freaked. I'm not 100% sure how they're going to put in the port so I'm nervous. They're doing the I.T. chemo first then flipping me over on my back to put in the port. I have to be there at 6am. After all that, we'll go to the office to get my regular treatment. So, you're prayers would be greatly appreciated. I'm praying everything goes ok and I won't be in any pain. I'm also praying that I feel good the rest of the week. Yesterday and today, I felt a little....well, the only way to describe it is blah. I felt nauseated and just plain tired and blah. I took a nap today and felt pretty good afterwards and I feel good now. So, hopefully that's past. Well, your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. Especially tomorrow as I go through this surgical procedure. I know God will be there with me the entire time, helping me through it.

Busy weekend

So far, the weekend has been pretty good. I was able to go to work every day except Tuesday, due to treatment. I went to the game last night in St. Henry, which we won-GO CAVS! =) And this morning, I went to the JV game at home. So, I've been busy. I did come home today though with a headache so I took a nap (a long nap lol). Now, I'm just taking it easy in front of the TV. This Tuesday, I have to be at the hospital at 6am!!! Way to early for me but it's the only time they could get me in so they can do the I.T. along with putting my new port. So, Monday night we're going to go stay with Bri since she lives in Ft. Wayne. That way we don't have to get up so early. It'll still be too early for me! But, I can sleep after my treatment I guess. I should feel well enough this week to go to work and the games again. I'm hoping and praying from here on out, I feel good so I can be back for good. I know God is still healing me but I need to take it easy and not over do it. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. It means so much to me!

Better day

Today was definitely a better day. I was able to go to work again for second half of the day. Tomorrow I plan on trying to go for 3/4 of the day and Friday the whole day. The doctor told me yesterday that my counts should be good the next 2 weeks so I want to try to get in as many full days as possible. Then, in 2 weeks when I have treatment 4 days in a row, she said my counts may be down. So, those weeks I'll need to try to take it easy, which probably means half days if I'm feeling good (which I pray I am). Treatment should slowly start to not be as rough I hope. Next Tuesday, I have to get a port put in my chest. The dr said I'll like it better than my hemed because it's under the skin. You really can't tell it's there. You can shower like normal (which is great news) and you don't have wires hanging out of your chest, which is great. I'm still not looking forward to the surgery though. I pray it goes well and isn't painful. I'll also have to get another I.T. chemo that day, which Im not looking forward too. It seems like it'll be another rought Tuesday, so I'm praying it isn't that bad. So, if you'll keep me in your prayers again, that would be great! Right n0w, I'm praying that the rest of my week is great as well as my weekend. And, I know God will provide =)

Somewhat of a rough day....

Well, since they took out my hemed, needless to say, treatment was NOT fun. Once again, more pricks for blood work and for an IV. I also had to get an intrumuscular shot in my hip. Not fun. After all that, it was off to the hospital for my I.T. treatment, which is the shot in the spine. My appt was at 2 but I didn't end up getting in until 3:30, which did not make me happy. This was my first I.T. since the blood patch so I was a little worried. After the shot, as soon as I rol led over on my back, instant pain in my tail bone. And it was bad. So, they gave me some -pills to try to help. The ride home was sore and I'm still sore as I sit here and type. When I stand to walk, I get a shooting pain down my tailbone, into my left leg. Very painful. The doctor said it'll pass. I have to say, I hope it's soon!! I still plan on going to work tomorrow. I want to try to be there as much as possible the next 2 weeks as the dr said my counts should be pretty good. Then, in 2 weeks, when I have treatment 4 days in a row, she's worried my counts may go crazy so work may be rough to get too. But, we'll see. I know God will take care of me =) Well, its 8:30 and I haven't had supper so I'm off for now. Thank you all for your prayers today!!

Good start...

Today was a good start to what I hope is a great week. I was able to go to work today for the last half of the day and then cheer practice. I'm hoping I'm able to go every day (except Tuesdays, which are treatment days) as I really can't afford to not work much longer. I'm already out of sick days so I'm on leave without pay......so you can imagine how I'm starting to get stressed. I'm trying not to worry about it because I know God will provide but.....I'm a worrier. =)

Tomorrow is treatment day. It wouldn't be so bad but I have to get I.T. which is the spinal treatment. After my spinal headache last time.....I'm just praying that it doesn't happen again. I have to tell you that I'm so sick of the I.T. I know it's nessecary but I hate it. I pray tomorrow is a good day and I get through it ok. I really want to be able to work the rest of the week and from here on out. As I said before, God will provide!

I want to thank everyone again from Parkway and Coldwater for all the fundraising you've done. I so greatly appreciate it! I know the Coldwater community is still fundraising as I type and it means so much and is such a great help to me! THANK YOU!!

Great football night

Well, yesterday was a great day and last night was wonderful. Mom and I started our day by heading over to Parkway. The students put together a "Kiss the Pig" contest to raise money for me. They raised over $600, which is so great! Mr. Esselstein, the elementary principal had to kiss the pig. It was SO loud, smelly and foaming at the mouth. It was kinda disgusting.....lol. I apologized to Mr. E for having to kiss it but he really didn't seem to mind to much haha. I REALLY appreciate everything Parkway did to raise the money for me. With me being 0ff work, money is tight so this will really help and is such a blessing to me. Then, last night, I headed to the game. I had such a grea time! I also want to thank everyone from Coldwater who is helping/donating/everything with helping with all the donations for me. I really appreciate everything everyone is doing and they've raised more than I could ever ask for! You guys are truly a blessing and I am so honored to be a part of Coldwater school district! Thank you!! And GO CAVS!!

Home again

Hello all! I was finally released today and am SO THANKFUL to be back home. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. It was definitely a rough stay as I only went to the hospital to get blood and they wound up finding pneumonia. I guess thats what I get for standing in the rain! They also found an infection and had to take out my hemed which was not fun. I was poked and stuck with so many needles while I was there.....not fun. That's why I am so thankful to God for getting me through and helping me get well to get home. I pray now that He continues to heal me and I continue to get better so I can get back to work. So, since I'm home, I will definitely be making a stop at the game on Friday. Not sure I'll stay the whole time, as I can't afford to get sick again but I will be making an appearance. So, until then, I'll continue to update you and see you Friday!

Still at Lutheran

Hi all....this is Bri again, blogging for Leigha who is still in the hospital. She is feeling much better. Her pneumonia is pretty much gone, and her hemed was taken out. She had a blood fusion done in her spine to stop the spinal leak that was causing her headache. She's hoping to go home soon, but has to wait for her white counts to go up. Today, she's getting more blood and her chemo is being restarted since her pneumonia is gone. She will also get chemo tomorrow then hopefully go home.

She is very frustrated right now, as she wants to be home in time for the game on Friday. She is trusting God that everything will go according to His plan. Thank you for the prayers and positive thoughts. She says please keep them coming so that she can get back to work and life soon.

Also, a thank you from me and my family for all the support, help, prayers and postive thinking that you are sending Leigha. I will keep y'all posted on her status. TTFN!!!

Update on the week....

Hey there, this is Bri, Leigha's sister. She asked me to get on here and post a blog for her. She is currently in Lutheran Hospital. She was admitted Tuesday due to a low Hemaglobin count. She was given a blood transfusion, then Wednesday morning had a temp over 100. They took her for a chest x-ray and found that she has a slight case of pneumonia in her left lung. She also has had blood cultures done to see if there is infection in her hemed port (the port she receives her chemo thru). If there is an infection, she may have to have it removed and a new one placed. This, she is not happy about. Other than that, she is doing well. She asks that you keep sending prayers her way and thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers already being sent. Also, good luck Cavs tomorrow, bring home a win!!!

still have a headache...with update

It's been 4 days and I STILL have a headache, which is not good. The nurse at the doctor last week told me if I get a headache that lasted longer than 2 days, it's a good possibility that I could have a spinal leak or something from my I.T. chemo. So, my mom has a message into the doctor to wait and see what they say.I was really hoping to go to work a half day again today but it seems to get worse when I'm on my feet. So, I haven't moved from my couch. Sucks. But, I'm confident I'll be at work Weds-Fri. and I'll be able to attend the game Friday night. Just please keep me in your prayers. I know God is with me....healing me.

Well, the Bengals offense didn't sh0w up again and they are now 0-2. I've been a Bengals fan through the worst and best of times so I'm hoping things get better from here on out!!

UPDATE: The doctor told me to "lay low" today as she is concerned that my headache has something to do with my spinal chemo. She's going to take a look at me tomorrow at treatment. So.....hanging out on my couch..bored..wishing I was at work. But, I am positive God will heal me and I'll be back by weds!! So, keep those prayers coming!

Not so great....

Well, it hasn't been the greatest sunday as I woke up again with the same headache I went to bed with. I was planning on going to church but there was no way I could drive myself. After I showered, I almost passed out but managed to get to the couch and laid down to prevent it. I'm slowly starting to feel better but I haven't moved from my couch either. I'm watching the Bengals in hopes the offense shows up today and they actually win. I guess we'll see. If you're out and about today, stop over in Coldwater and get your car washed. The students are having a car wash to benefit me, which I greatly appreciate!! I just wish the weather would've cooperated! Hopefully, you still do well. Regardless, I appreciate what everyone is doing!! THANK YOU!!

Great Friday

Well, I had the BEST Friday. It was so great to get back to work!! I worked a half day and was definitely tired by 4:00 but it was a good tired. And it was so awesome to be at the game! Congratulations Cavs on a huge win!! It was an exciting game and it felt so great to be back, and doing what I love! I'm hoping and praying that I continue to feel great so I can continue to work in the afternoons and go to practices and games. I praise God for blessing me with feeling great! I know He'll get me through so I can continue to work.

The only downer is I've had a headache since yesterday morning and it's only gotten worse. I'm praying that I wake up tomorrow and it's gone. Nothing is working-not pills or sleep. It's been awful. But, I'm sure I'll be ok by tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the Bengals home opener. I can only hope they look and play better than last week!! =)

Going strong....

Well, I'm still feeling great and things are going well. I got cleared from the doctor to go back to work, which I'm so excited about. Of course, I'm only going to go half days to start. I'll still have treatment in the morning and if I'm feeling well enough, I'll go to work in the afternoons. I'm going to start tomorrow, which I'm so excited about. I went to band and cheer practice tonight and it felt so great to be back. I'm super excited about going to the game tomorrow night! God has been so great in blessing me with remission and feeling so good. I can only pray that I continue to feel this great. Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate so much what everyone is doing for me, with your prayers, all the benefits and donations, everything! I can never express how much gratitude I feel. Thank you!

So far, so good

Well, I felt so good last night that I went to band practice. And it felt GREAT to be back!! I plan on being there tomorrow and at the game on Friday. I'll also be at cheer both days as well. So, keep those prayers coming that I continue to feel great so I can be there. It feels so great to be there and participating. I hope this is the start of me being back for good. As for getting back to work during the day, I think I have at least a couple more weeks. I'm hoping to get back half days soon, like in the afternoons. Since I'm in remission now, it shouldn't be a problem.

Today's treatment went ok. I had to have IT chemo, which is the shot in the spine. I know I've said it before but I HATE IT. It's so uncomfortable. And today was super bad for some reason. I was half in tears during the entire process. But, I made it through. The worst part is, I've had the WORST headache since about 10:00 last night and it hasn't gone away. Thankfully, it's slowly starting too. Hopefully, it'll be gone by morning. Thank you all for your continued prayers. God is truly working in me and I can't wait to share my testimony with everyone.

9 letter word that starts with R.....

REMISSION!!! God is so magnificant and I AM IN REMISSION!! =) PTL! Thank you all for your prayers!! Now, it's time to stay in remission with the maintanance chemo so keep those prayers coming! I am just so thankful to be in remission as I know it should only get easier from here. My treatments are now 4 days a week but the 1st day is the longest and the roughest. The last 3 are fairly easy treatments and don't take long. So, I should be getting back to work soon. My goal is to make it there by months end and I've been pretty good at accomplishing my goals =) God is so great!!

Praise God for this beautiful day!

I feel great today! And I am SO THANKFUL to God for that! This is the first Monday, actually the first day in awhile that I've felt this good! I even drove my car today!! I ran some errands and actually got outside and it felt awesome! I felt normal again. And it feels so good! I only hope and pray that God blesses me the rest of the week and I continue to feel this good. Thank you to all of you who have been praying for me! It's working and I truly appreciate it. God is truly awesome.

Sunday

Well, I made it through the weekend and it wasn't the best. I haven't had a good day in awhile.....I forget what it feels like to feel 100% good. I'm so ready to feel better. This week starts 4 day treatments. Not sure for how long or how its going to work. I'm hoping and praying it really helps and I start to feel great so I can get back to work! I'm so tired of missing. I know I need to take my time and get healthy but I miss it and everyone so much. And I have to say I'm so tired of sitting at home. I'm tired of missing the Friday night football games. I LIVE for football season and I'm flipping missing it! But, I know I'll be back soon. And it'll be awesome. So, until then, I keep fighting the fight and praying for God's awesome healing.

Congrats Cavs on your win Friday! I want to thank Jud and Dan for keeping me updated on the scores! =) I really appreciate it! I can't wait to be back!

The weekend

Well, I apologize for not blogging since Tuesday. It has been a miserable week for me. I finished taking one of the prescriptions and it has put me in such excrutiating pain not being on it anymore. I called the nurse who spoke to the doctor and all they could do is put me on pain pills. So, I've been completely miserable all week. I'm not in as much pain today but I have the worst headache and I've had it since yesterday. Plus, I got sick this morning which is the first time I've gotten sick since being diagnosed. I think it may have been the pain pills but still. Not fun. I really want to start feeling better so I can get back to band and cheer at least part time but next week, I start treatment 4 days a week so wh0 knows how I'll feel. Hopefully, I'll be back to work by the end of the month. I really want to get back-I miss everyone so much! I'll find out next week if I'm in remission, which I'm sure I am but keep me in your prayers!! Well, I know this is short but I'm still not feeling the best. Pray that I feel better tomorrow!

Good luck Cavs tonight against Versailles! I know you'll bring home another WIN! Good luck band and cheerleaders! I know you'll look great! Miss you all!

Loooooong treatment day

Well, it was a long treatment day but I made it through. And, I didn't have double treatment which made it a little better. I went in first for the bone marrow testing (NOT FUN). The doctor was very pleased with my blood counts and the marrow she extracted, which is a good sign. I should find out the results either by weeks end or early next week. Doctor is expecting me to be in remission and as I've said, God has been so truly awesome through all of this, I know I will be. So, next week will start maintenance chemo! So-keep those prayers coming! After the bone marrow testing, we headed to the hospital for my IT chemo. I guess it's not really as bad as I thought....the worst of it is the numbing. And lying there forever, flat on your back afterwards as to not get a spinal headache. But, I only had to lay there for an hour and half rather than 3 hours, which I was very thankful for. So, after leaving at 1045am, we finally returned home at 800pm. So, a long day. But, praying that it was a SUCCESSFUL day =)

My house is slowly starting to look like a house. My room is pretty much finished. And the bathroom I think it almost completely put away. My mom has been working on the kitchen which is a big help cause bending down alot hurts my back. I can not say how much I appreciate my mom being here with me. I know its gotta be hard, being away from her home, dogs, horses and most importantly-husband. And I feel awful that she's away from them. But I love having her here with me, helping me. Because I'd be completely lost without her. Thank you mama.....for all you have done and continue to do. You will never know how much it means. And Richard-thank you for putting up with having your wife gone. I know it's hard. And-as I said before-you can come stay with us anytime!! I love you both so much!!

And to all my Cavs-I hope to be back soon! I miss you all! Thank you for all your comments, cards, prayers and support. See you soon!

Monday's.

Monday's are always so rough for me.....I hate them. It's always the day the chemo treatment hits me the worst and I feel awful. Then tomorrow, Tuesday, we start again. But, by the end of the week, I'll feel better again and when Monday comes around, we start all over. But, I know I'm getting better. I know I am. Tomorrow is bone marrow testing for remission and I know God has blessed me and cured me and I am so thankful. I'll also get regular chemo treatment plus IT, which is the chemo in the spine. I'll have to lay flat on my back for 3 hours afterward as to not get a spinal headache. Not fun but we have to make sure we get all the bad cells. I wish I could say it was my last spinal treatment but I know it's not. Once I'm in remission, I have to have 4 treatments a week every 2 weeks for about a month I think. Hopefully, it's not that much-I'll find out tomorrow. I am so ready to go back to school. I miss it so much but I know I have to be healthy and I still have my bad days. I'm definitely ready to go back to coaching and band and I'm hoping I get the clear for that. It's only twice a week for a couple of hours and the games on Fridays. So, we'll see what the dr says. So, keep my in your prayers for tomorrow. It's going to be a gruiling day.

As for the new place, I love it here. I'm hoping and praying that it works out that God provides for me to buy it. I do NOT want to move again. This move was so rough.....I don't think I could handle another one. And this house is so NICE and perfect for me. I already feel at home and am so thankful that I am able to rent it! Thank you so much Larmores!! You guys are truly a blessing and I don't know what I'd do without you!

Lastly, with my busy weekend, I forgot to congratulate my Cavs on your VICTORY over Kokomo on Friday! I knew you could do it!! 2-0! I love my Cavs! =) Great job cheerleaders and band! I heard great reviews! Miss you all!

Successful move!

Well, the move is DONE!! And I am so sore. I didn't do much but after my day yesterday and moving today, I am hurting so bad. A nice soak in the tub is going to feel wonderful!! Thank you to those that helped move! I'm sure you're all sore and tired too! It is much appreciated!! I can never thank everyone enough for everything everyone is doing for me!! Tomorrow will be unpacking and cleaning. I'd really like to hit up the fair tomorrow night. I want some more fries and an elephant ear!! Hopefully, I can get all rested up tonight so I can walk around a bit tomorrow evening. Tuesday is going to be a long day of double treatment plus I get my bone marrow tested for remission. I know God has healed me and put me in remission and I am so thankful to Him for that. So, keep me in your prayers! I'll need them for Tuesday!

Again, I want to send out a heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who helped, came, participated, everything and anything you did yesterday at the benefit. It was so successful and I am SO GRATEFUL! I can never thank everyone enough!

THANK YOU FOR A SUCCESSFUL BENEFIT!!

Just a quick blog to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who came and helped, participated, whatever at the benefit yesterday! I know it was a long, tiring day but it was well worth it as you all raised over $1000 for me!!! I can never express how thankful I am to all of you for that! It is going to help SO MUCH with paying off medical bills!! Thank you to all the businesses who donated for the silent auction. You generosity is greatly appreciated. To Steve and Norma Earle, who ran the grill ALL day in the hot sun! Texas Roadhouse on me next Saturday!! To my sister, Keith, and your friends who pulled this together. Thank you! I can not say it enough!!

Now-MOVING DAY!! Anyone who can come help, PLEASE DO!! I thought I was going to have a lot of helpers but so far, not so much! Anyone that can come over, I would be so thankful!! I'll blog more later this evening, after the move!!

Tomorrow..

Well, I still haven't felt well today. I've spent the majority of the day in bed with a bad stomach ache. Thankfully, my mom stayed home with me and called the nurse. It turns out that one of the prescriptions I'm on is giving me stomach ulcers so the nurse called in a prescription to get rid of them. So, I'm praying that I feel better tomorrow for the benefit as I really want to go for a little bit. So, please pray that I feel well enough to go. Sunday is moving day and I haven't even felt well enough to start packing, which I know isn't good. So, all you helpers may have to help with some packing too. I really appreciate everyone who has volunteered to help out. If you want to help, be at my place around 2:30. All trucks are appreciated and men as we have to move a heavy piano!

God has been so great to me through this all and He has blessed me even more with how great my mom's boss is. He's given her permission to only come into the once a week which means she gets to stay here with me 4 days a week!! She'll still be working on her laptop but it'll be from my house, with me, that way if I need her, she's here. I want to say a BIG thank you to my mom's boss and how MUCH I appreciate their generosity and kindness. It means so much to me to know they care and I don't know what I'd do without my mom here with me. You are truly awesome people and may God bless you!

Good luck to my Cavs tonight! I know you'll bring home a victory over Kokomo. I wish I could be there to cheer you on but know I'm cheering from home!!

Blah........

Well, I woke up this morning again feeling sick and haven't felt the best all day. I feel better now than before, thankfully, and not as bad as the past fews days but I'm definitely ready to feel 100% better tomorrow!! Which, I am positive that I will. God is good and has been so great to me through this all. My mom stayed home with me today, which I am so greatful for. I know tomorrow will be a better day =) I'm already slowly starting to feel better and I think we're going to try to hit Wal-Mart later as I need to get a few things. Otherwise, we'll go tomorrow.

So, the benefit on Saturday starts at 9:00am. Come out and watch some great softball, bid on some great prizes, and eat some great food!! I plan on being there for the middle of it at least. I'm positive and have complete faith in God that the weather will be awesome and I'll be feeling wonderful. Can't wait to see everyone! Thank you so much for all your help, support and donations!! It means so much!!

Thank you all for your continued cards of concern and prayers. They mean alot and I enjoy getting them. Once I've moved, I'll be sure to give everyone my new address. I'll be moving Sunday and Monday of this weekend so if you want to help, give me a call! =)

One more treatment.....

Well, I have one more scheduled treatment next Tuesday along with another bone marrow biopsy to check for remission. The results from last weeks biopsy were good. The doctor said they showed that the treatment had worked and erraticated all the leukimia cells, which is good. So, next week, we pray for remission from the biopsy. Once I'm in remission, I start some hard core treatment, it sounds like. The first week, I have treatment 4 days in a row. Not looking forward to that but you gotta do what you gotta do. So.... I'm still praying to get back to work soon. Please pray with me that I am able to go back mid September. I miss it so much and I just can't be off any longer than that.....I know God will work this out. He is such a great God...I have my complete faith in him.

So, I'm moving Sunday and Monday. Anyone wanting to help, let me know!! We'd like to try to get it all done on Sunday, that way we can have Monday as the unpacking day since I have a long day of treatment on Tuesday.

Well, I know this is short but its been a very rough, long day. I haven't been feeling well for the past few so I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day.

Sort of a rough day...

Well, today has been sort of a rough day. I just haven't been feeling the best which is to be expected. Usually, 7-10 days after chemo is when you start to feel the worst. Which can suck because I start to feel better by the weekend and then Monday comes, and it's back to feeling rough with treatment on Tuesday. But, I'm getting through and I'm almost done with treatments which is awesome. I have this week and I think next week, then hopefully, God willing, I'll be in remission and we'll just do maintanance chemo. Not sure what all that entails but it'll be better than once a week! I should get my bone marrow results this week too so I'm praying for good results. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. It means so much knowing how many people are out there who are about me. It's overwelming at times!! God is so great and just continues to bless me through all of this.

It appears the softball tournament planning is going well. I logged onto the Parkwayindependent today and what do I see? My face! haha. There's a small article with my picture. Just caught me off guard. But, I appreciate so much what my sister and brother-in-law are doing. I pray for nice weather so everyone can enjoy the day and I can be there for most of the day. The Van Wert fair starts this week too. I'm so excited about fair food!! French fries with vinegar, corn dogs, breadsticks. Gonna have to stop at least one day for food!! =) Making me hungry now!

I should be moving in the next 2 weeks. I'll let everyone know once I do so you know my new address and where to find me =) Love and miss you all!!

Good weekend

So, overall, it's been a pretty good weekend. Went out to Bella's last night for dinner which was so good. Ate to much and came home with a belly ache but just lounged around the rest of the evening which was nice. Today has been a nice day. My dad made is infamous chicken that is SO good and brought it over for lunch. I made egg salad and corn on the cob. It was yummy =) My Aunt Betty came over to visit and brought me butterscotch rice krispie treats which are my favorite. I've already ate like 5 of them. I have a good appetite, which is good cause I need to put weight back on. I'm not sure if I have or not. As of last week, I hadn't. They said the chemo makes it hard to put weight on. I get another treatment 0n Tuesday and I'm sure they'll weigh me so we'll see. I so wish I could go back to school tomorrow but I have to wait a few more weeks. Have to make sure I'm in remission and back to my normal strength. I'm doing better and better each day. I look forward to waking up each morning.....life is such a blessing. Never take it for granted. I'm looking forward to the benefit on Saturday. I hope to see everyone there!! Hopefully, it's not to hot and humid so I can last the whole day but I at least plan on being there for some. Can't wait to see you all!! Thank you all so much for your help and support. God is truly blessing me through all of this and I can't thank Him or you enough. Til tomorrow......=)

First Saturday

Well, today was my first Saturday at home and it was so nice. It's been so great sleeping in my town bed (new, king size mattress-Thank you Jeff and Karen!!) and I've been sleeping so good. Mom and I ran some errands today-went to Aldi's and Wal-Mart. It was tiring though so I was glad to get back home. So many people, it made mom and I both crabby but it was also nice to get out. Tonight, I'm eating at Bella's-yummy! So, its been a pretty good day. I've been so blessed to have been feeling so great. I get the bone marrow test results back next week so I'm praying for positive news. Next Saturday is the first benefit, which I am so excited for. Praying for nice weather-not to hot and humid so I can be outside for it. I'm so thankful for everyone who is participating and also planning other fundraisers and benefits for me. The hospital bill is not small by any means and I know insurance will pick up some but I still know it's going to be very costly. But, I have no worries as I know God is in control and will provide completely. I'm still looking for a new, nice, cheaper apartment. Hoping to have something squared away in the next couple of weeks.

Congratulations Cavs, on your win last night!! I wish I could have been there! But, I will be soon enough! I miss everyone and can't wait to get back!

Hope to see everyone in Van Wert at Smiley Park on Sat. the 30th!!

Good Luck Cavs!!

Good luck tonight, Cavs, as you travel to Kenton. I pray God gives you all safe travel and keeps you call safe as you play on the field. This includes my cheerleaders (cheer hard!) and the marching band (play loud and strong!). I so wish I could be there to cheer you on and watch the game but I'll be cheering from my house. Bring home a VICTORY!!!

I feel ok today. This morning was a little rough, just with some nausea but I made it through. It's amazing how much showering can take out of you but I was beat by time I was done so I've been lounging around on the couch most of the day. Nothing wrong with that though. Gotta get my rest! My dad came over for a bit to visit and I sent him to DQ for chicken tenders. All this food in my house and I'm craving that =) Oh well....it was good!!

I wanted to let everyone know about a co-ed softball tournament my sister and her husband are planning for me in Van Wert next Saturday, Aug. 30th. Time is still to follow but if you are interested in forming a team to play, let me know and I'll let my sister know. There will be silent auctions as well and all money raised will go towards my medical bills and whatever else I need. It means so much to have so many people supporting me and wanting to help me out. God is truly blessing me during this time and I couldn't thank Him enough for His wonderful grace and mercy. So, let me know if you want to help or just come out for a good cause! I'm praying I feel good that day to come out and visit with everyone!! So, I hope to see you all next saturday!!

Bone Marrow Testing

Well, today was the dreaded bone marrow testing. This is by far the worst test ever, in my opinion. Very uncomfortable. But, the good news is, when they did the test, they were able to pull liquid aspiration!! Meaning, my marrow is once again liquid which is wonderful news. When they did the first 2 tests, my marrow was all dried up due to the leukemia. So, the fact that it is once again liquid means the chemo is working. It will take 3-4 days to get the results back. But, I am claiming by the blood and power of our awesome God, I am already in remission! So, keep those prayers and positivity flowing with me! =) I am so ready to go back to work, school, band, cheer! I miss it all so much!! I hate that I'm missing the first game tomorrow....marching through the halls......the excitement. But, I know I need to get 100% healthy before I can come back and mark my words, I WILL be back in September!!! But, until then, cheer hard girls, play strong band, and KICK BUTT CAVS!!! I'll be cheering from my house. =)

CJ's

I just wanted to say how GREAT it was to see everyone at CJ's tonight!! I have missed you guys SO MUCH!! I'm sorry I didn't get to see all of you but for those I did see, it was so wonderful to see you!! And my golfers-It was SUPER GREAT to see you guys!! I have definitely missed seeing you every week so it was awesome to surprise you all! =) And before we went to CJ's, we stopped at Wal-Mart and I saw the Ruckman's cominig out. Great to see you guys too!! I can't wait to get back to school! All in all, it was a pretty great day. Needless to say, I'm exhausted after my day but it was a good day and I thank God for that. Tomorrow is the bone marrow testing......I really hate this test as it is so painful but I know God will get me through. So, keep praying. The results will take a couple days but I know with God's awesome power and grace, I will be healed. Talk to you soon!!

More prayers please!

Today has been a good day. I woke up feeling great and have felt pretty good the entire day. The visiting nurses lady came today to show me how to flush my port daily (it's the tubing that comes out of my chest). Then, we heard from the doctor and apparently, they forgot to test my bone marrow before I was released from the hospital. Which, I thought they did but I'm just the patient. So, we have to back to Ft. Wayne tomorrow to get it tested. So, prayers are needed! This test will show if the chemo is working and/or if I am in remission. And I am stating with God's grace that I AM IN REMISSION!!!!! This is a pretty painful test too so please pray for comfort for me during it. I'm not looking forward to it.

Thank you to all the people who have sent cards, flowers, thoughts and prayers. I appreciate it so much! Continue to stop by and visit me at my apartment. The place I was going to move in to the first of the month fell through so I've got to get to looking for something. I know I'll find some place, I just need it to be before the first of the month. But, God provides and I know he will =)

Hope to see you all soon! Miss you and love you all!

First night

Well, my first night at home was wonderful. It felt so great just to be out of the hospital. And some friends of mine brought me over a king size, pillow top mattress that they put in my room. Then they set up my old bed in the spare room for my mom. So, we both got an awesome nights sleep. I haven't slept that good in I don't even know how long!! It was great!! I woke up this morning and felt ok until I took my morning meds then it kinda went down hill from there. We had to get to Ft. Wayne for a chemo treatment so I slept most of the way. Chemo wasn't too bad and the ride home was ok......and I'm home again now which is great. I have one more treatment which is next Tuesday then hopefully we'll check and be in remission!!! I know God is healing me and this disease is already out of me. I also found out today that I do NOT need a bone marrow transplant which is good. So, keep those prayers and positive thoughts coming that this thing is dead and gone for good!!! I'm so ready to get my strenght back and get back to school. Today was the first day and I hate that I wasn't there. I especially hate that I'm going to be missing some football games but I can't afford to get sick. And I know I'll be back before ya know it.....better than ever!!

Thank you all for everything you've done. I appreciate anything and everything everyone has done and you will never know how much it all means to me. I'm so thankful to be home!! Continue to come visit! Love you and miss you all!!

Home!!!

Praise the Lord, I am HOME!!! And it has never felt so good!!! I still have to go back tomorrow for bloodwork and a chemo treatment and I'll have another treatment next week as well but I'm home which is wonderful. Next week, I think they'll test my marrow and with God's grace, I'll be in remission. But, I am so HAPPY to be home!! And home for now is still West Bank. I'll be here until the first of the month then I'll need help moving. There's no way I'll be able to do any of it. It was all I could do to get up my stairs!! So, come visit me at home!! I miss everyone and am so blessed to me home and doing well. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!!!

Ready...

Hello again from Lutheran Hospital. The doctor came in this morning with even more good news. I may be able to go home tomorrow!!! He said everything is looking really good and he thinks I'm responding well to the treatment. He said he had to check my blood work tomorrow and what my next treatment is and so on but I am SO hoping to be released tomorrow!! But, even if not, I'm still hoping for Weds which is better than 2 weeks!!! So, God is truly wonderful and helping me live up to me saying I would NOT be here the full time. I am kicking this thing out of me so fast, it doesn't know what hit it! I am so ready to start school and get back to my band kids and cheerleaders! I know I'll probably have to wait a couple of weeks and start on half days but I can't wait. And I'll have to be extra careful with football season and getting sick but I am stronger than I have ever been and I have God's protection wrapped all around me. This expierience has taught me so much and I thank God for bringing me through it. I especially want to thank my mom for being here every day and night with me. I know it's been hard being away from her husband and putting up with me on occasion but I couldn't of done this without her and I thank you mama. To my church family-thank you for fighting the fight with me. It's not over but we're winning so let's keep praying and fighting together. To all my friends, family, co-workers, anyone and everyone-thank you! Keep praying and thinking positive because with God, I AM winning and beating this. Our God truly is an awesome God.

So, let's pray for a return home tomorrow!! I've already started a grocery list as my mom is going to stay with me for awhile to help get me back on my feet. I only weight 111 pds which is not good. She's going to cook for me for awhile, get some meat back on my bones, which I desperately need. I've been eating good but the chemo takes it out of you. So, hopefully my next post will be from my own home! Keep praying and sending those positive thoughts! I appreciate it all so much! Don't forget to still come visit when I'm home! I know quite a few of my friends are planning events/fundraisers of some kind so hopefully info will go out and everyone can make it! Miss you and love you all!

Apologies for the late blog!

Hi all! I apologize for it taking me so long to blog but it has been a rough week. My treatments really got me down, totally exhausted and nauseated. My white blood cell count dropped severely low which meant if I left the room, I have to wear a mask and I just couldn't handle that mask so I chose to rest instead. I'm feeling much better today and my counts are gradually coming back up, which is good. With them being low, it means that the chemo is killing off the bad which I'm so thankful for. On Weds, the doctor came in to check on me and asked me if my hair had started to fall out.....I guess deep down I knew that it would but was hoping it wouldn't. He said give it a week and it would start. Apparently, if it doesn't fall out, that typically means the treatment isn't working so it's good for it to c'ome out. But everyone knows how much my hair means to me so it was difficult to hear. So, rather than wake up to long locks on my pillow, I called my friend Raeh and she came up and cut it very, very short. I'm getting used to it. Everyone says it looks great on me, which they may just be being nice, but it's not that bad. Easier to manage for now, thats for sure. And it'll make it easier once it does start to fall out (which it hasn't yet but they said probably by next week). It's still hard to think about it but I know that it's only temporary and will grow back better than ever. And I've been looking at some wigs so I maybe I could have some fun with it =) So, trying to keep a positive attitude still about it.

Today has been a pretty good day. The dr came in this morning and said I could be taken off the PCA unit, which is the unit with fluids and stuff so I can walk around freely without a machine which is awesome. He also said I could take a walk outside which I did with my mom and it was so wonderful!!! You don't realize how great the sun is until you haven't been in it for over 3 weeks. It was totally great. Then, the best news is, they may let me go home on Weds!! I'm not completely done with treatments but the dr said I'm doing well, and am very strong that he may let me go home and I'd just have to come back up the next week for my final chemo treatment and some testing. And, with God's grace, the testing will show I'm in remission and will be able to just do maintanance chemo for about 2 years. So, I've felt pretty good all day. I am SOOOOOO ready to go home and so greatful and thankful to God for taking such good care of me and for providing such wonderful nurses and doctors to look after me. So, keep thinking positive and praying that I get to come home Weds!!! I'll try to keep everyone posted. And, once I'm home, I'll still take visitors!!I'll still be at West Bank until the 1st of Sept then moving. I can take all the help with packing and moving as I can as my mom said she doesn't want me doing any of it....which is probably better so I don't get run down. And until then, come visit me here! I miss everyone so much!! Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. I never even realized or would have imagined this much just for me.....it's overwelhming.....and I appreciate it so much. We truly serve an awesome God and I'm so thankful for him and to him for surrounding me with such amazing people. I love you and miss you all!!

short update

This is going to be a short update as I had 2 rounds of chemo today and am not feeling all that well. I had another chemo shot in my back as well as the dose through my IV. It's just been a really rough week so far. Please keep praying and thinking positive thoughts for me =) I'm so ready to go home but I have at least about 2 weeks left. I'm halfway through the treatments they said so we'll see. The dr asked this morning if I'd started to lose my hair yet.....I guess I had been thinking and praying that I wouldn't but dr said losing it means the treatment is working so I'm trying to prepare myself. For those of you that know me well, know how much I love my hair so this is really rough on me. My friend Raeh is coming up tomorrow morning to cut it. There's no way I'll be able to wake up one morning with chunks on my pillow so I'm going to get a head start. That way, it's less to lose, but definitely not easier. I know it's just hair and will grow back but it's still rough and depressing to me.......The song "Sara Beth" by Rascal Flatts keeps running through my head....so anyways, I guess all in all I'm doing ok. Not feeling the best today due to treatment and ready to go home but progressing good from what I'm told. So, keep those prayers coming and positive thoughts. I'm so ready to kick this and head home. You can still visit but I'd leave any kids at home. And, if you've been sick or think you're getting sick, it's best to wait a well. My white blood counts are starting to go down which means once they hit 0, I'm very open to sickness so within the next few days I'll be there. Hopefully not for long but you'll just have to sanitize your hands when you come in and possibly wear masks, depending on what the counts are. Don't let this scare you away =) I stll love company. It lifts my spirits. Well, I'm not feeling the best due to treatment so I'm going to go. Keep those prayers coming! God is listening and is working in me. Miss you and love you all!

Wow...

Sorry for not posting yesterday. I started my day with a nurse coming in around 8ish to change the dressing on my port.....my skin is very sensitive to tape so it didn't want to come off and hurt pretty bad. So, needless to say, I wasn't in the best moods to start the day. I spent the whole day in my room, mostly in bed.....just not a good day. Had a few family visitors though, which was great to see them, just sucks its under these circumstances.

So, today has been nothing but boring. Everyone was working so I've been in my room, alone, most of the day, just being bored and watching TV. Had some visitors and think some people are coming tonight, which will be nice. Today has been so boring, I'm about going out of my mind. Still trying to stay as positive as can be but this is just so boring and frustrating. The past few years, I've been being told that "One of these day, God's going to bring you to your knees". And to be honest, I've been through so much at only 25, I thought he already had. But, I'm learning a whole new meaning of just what that meant and a whole new definition of being a Christian and staying close to God. He has definitely brought me to my knees, and I know now, more than ever just how great of a wonderful God we serve. Believe me, this is the HARDEST thing I have ever been through in my 25 years (and I've been through things that most don't know about) and yet, through it all, there He stands......just waiting for me to look up and be the Christian he wants me to be. And, here I am......ready. Ready to do whatever it is he wants me to do and I know he has a great ministry for me to share with people. And, I'm finally ready. I know I'm a strong person...I've been told by many lately that I'm one of the strongest people know. But, I must tell you just how hard this is getting for me. But, as in Philippians 4:4-7 says: " Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." So, as I sit here on my knees, Rejoicing to the Lord-I know He WILL get me through this and I will be stronger for it and better for it and will have nothing to do but Rejoice. I will be out of here soon.....I'm so ready to go home and be with my friends and family and go back to school. Keep praying.....keep thinking positive. Our God is an awesome God and is getting me back on my feet.....stronger than ever.

If this has made absolutely no sense, I apologize. I've just been so thrown and moved by this whole experience......and once I'm out.....I'll have such an awesome testimony that, if it doesn't already, will make perfect sense.

So, in closing for today, again keep praying, thinking and staying positive. I'm coming round the curve.....ready to head home, better than before. I miss you and love you all.