Wow...

Sorry for not posting yesterday. I started my day with a nurse coming in around 8ish to change the dressing on my port.....my skin is very sensitive to tape so it didn't want to come off and hurt pretty bad. So, needless to say, I wasn't in the best moods to start the day. I spent the whole day in my room, mostly in bed.....just not a good day. Had a few family visitors though, which was great to see them, just sucks its under these circumstances.

So, today has been nothing but boring. Everyone was working so I've been in my room, alone, most of the day, just being bored and watching TV. Had some visitors and think some people are coming tonight, which will be nice. Today has been so boring, I'm about going out of my mind. Still trying to stay as positive as can be but this is just so boring and frustrating. The past few years, I've been being told that "One of these day, God's going to bring you to your knees". And to be honest, I've been through so much at only 25, I thought he already had. But, I'm learning a whole new meaning of just what that meant and a whole new definition of being a Christian and staying close to God. He has definitely brought me to my knees, and I know now, more than ever just how great of a wonderful God we serve. Believe me, this is the HARDEST thing I have ever been through in my 25 years (and I've been through things that most don't know about) and yet, through it all, there He stands......just waiting for me to look up and be the Christian he wants me to be. And, here I am......ready. Ready to do whatever it is he wants me to do and I know he has a great ministry for me to share with people. And, I'm finally ready. I know I'm a strong person...I've been told by many lately that I'm one of the strongest people know. But, I must tell you just how hard this is getting for me. But, as in Philippians 4:4-7 says: " Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." So, as I sit here on my knees, Rejoicing to the Lord-I know He WILL get me through this and I will be stronger for it and better for it and will have nothing to do but Rejoice. I will be out of here soon.....I'm so ready to go home and be with my friends and family and go back to school. Keep praying.....keep thinking positive. Our God is an awesome God and is getting me back on my feet.....stronger than ever.

If this has made absolutely no sense, I apologize. I've just been so thrown and moved by this whole experience......and once I'm out.....I'll have such an awesome testimony that, if it doesn't already, will make perfect sense.

So, in closing for today, again keep praying, thinking and staying positive. I'm coming round the curve.....ready to head home, better than before. I miss you and love you all.