rough weekend

I have had a bit of a rough weekend, which is why I haven't posted in a few days. It all started Friday night. I thought it was going to be a good weekend. My sister, Trina came up with Kylee, a friend of her's from church. We went outside and enjoyed the beautiful weather for a couple hours. It was awesome. I started getting hungry but was expecting some other visitors who were bringing me supper. It got to be about 6:30, and I just couldn't wait any longer so Trina went downstairs and got me Wendy's. I ate and thought I would feel better but it was the complete opposite. I felt terrible!! I thought I was going to be sick. I called the nurse for some drugs and just wanted to sleep. I felt bad as Trina and Kylee had to witness me not feeling well and left. Thankfully, it was a nice visit before I felt ill. Anyways, the nurse came in and also took me off my PCA pump (the pump that was giving me pain meds for my back). They decided that since I was pushing the button as much, I could just use pills or IV if needed. Well, if you remember back to when I was in Lutheran when I first got diagnosed, they took me off the PCA pump that had morphine in it. I got this weird, heeby jeeby feeling and had like these seizures. It was very strange. They had to give me small doses of morphine to get it stop. So-the exact same thing happened with these pain meds. It is the worst feeling ever. So, Friday night was not a good night. I barely slept so come Saturday, after they kept giving me small doses of pain meds, I slept pretty much all day. I didn't wake up til 3:30. And even then, I didn't want to get out of bed. I was miserable. Yesterday wasn't too bad. I woke up to a text from my sister. She had went to one of our friends bachlorette party's, which I was supposed to go to as well. It was a picture message of her and the 2 girls we grew up with. The text said "Something's missing....oh yeah YOU". And that did it. I started balling. I miss my sister and my nephews. I hate that it's to far for them to come visit. I'm sick of being here when I feel absolutely fine. But, my counts are still way to low for me to go anywhere. The doctor actually came in when I was crying, which was just great. I told him I just wanted to go home but of course he said I'm doing great and by this time next week, my counts should be looking pretty good. So, I'm going to be here at least another week, maybe more. BLAH!!! Anyways, my dad came up with his friend Earl from church. I wanted to get outside, so we went out and sat in the beautiful weather again. Only I started feeling light headed and nauseous. So, we came back inside so I could get some proper medicine. I didn't feel quite as bad as the day before, but still pretty crappy. They left about 6. I rested a bit and watched TV as I waited for my mom to come. She didn't get here til around 8:30. She stayed the night and spent today with me, which was nice. I think I really needed it. We sat outside for a good 2 hours and walked quite a bit. More than I've walked in awhile, thus making my legs and lower back hurt. I hate that she has to leave but she has to get to work tomorrow, which I understand. Next weekend, she said she's going to try to come up Saturday and stay til Monday. So, the weekend was a bit of a rollercoaster. Today was probably the best day, even though I still haven't felt the greatest. So, pray that I start to feel better. Because I am sick of feeling this way that's for sure!!! But, I know God has a plan and He is still healing me. This potent chemo is still working to make sure all the canser is dead and gone for good so we can do the transplant. Still no word if Bri is a match. It'll take a couple weeks but I KNOW she's my match. So, keep praying. God is still working. Come visit. I'm getting very bored. Text or call though before you come. Please don't just show up lol. I need time to prepare!! ;) Well, I'm signing off. I do not feel well and have a headache to top it off. Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers!! I know God is with me daily, helping me through this.