I pray this is the last time

Back in Lutheran again. Sunday after church, my back started hurting very badly, to the point where it hurt to move let alone walk or stand. I called my mom and begged her to come down, and of course she did. I really didn't want to go to the ER again so I toughed it out all night. Very rough. Didn't sleep at all. My back just kept spasming and hurting. Nothing I took was helping and nothing I did was helping. Finally, at 8 on Monday morning, I called my oncologist. She said she would need to see me before she could really do anything for me. So, mom and I hopped in the car and headed to the office. Once we got there, the dr said she thought that maybe I had another compression fracture in my back. She immediately sent me to Lutheran. Mom drove us but I was in so much pain I almost wish we could've gone in the ambulance, just to get there faster. But, I made it. Before they could do the MRI, we had to get my pain under control, which took a little bit. I was just ready to not be in so much pain!!!!!! MRI went well. I think I dozed off during it due to the pain meds and lack of sleep. But, here's the bad news: I have to have more back surgery. The second fracture I got last year in my T8, was unable to be fixed when they found it. They said that it would heal itself over time. Well, it SHOULD have but it didn't. Due to all the steroids and other meds I'm on for the cancer, plus with how flimsy my bones are anyways, it did not heal. It was a 10% fracture.....it is now a 30% fracture. Plus, the T9 and 10 are compressing against it, more or less causing it to be inflamed and even more sore. Soooooooo, I saw a specialist and we're going to do the vertiboplasty tomorrow (the cement stuff). So, keep praying for me. God is still working in me and healing me. Saturday is the day we leave with the students for NYC. I asked both dr's and the specialist, and they seemed to think I may still be able to go. But, we'll see. I will definitely be bummed if I can't go but I know my health is first. So, please keep me in your prayers. Pray the surgery goes welll and I make it through with flying colors! Well, I am exhausted still, from lack of sleep and meds so if this post is a little strange, I apologize. I kinda keep dozing off as I type =)

An interesting 24 hours

Well, my pain did not get better last night. It got to the point where I kinda freaked myself out so I decided to go to the Mercer County ER. Bad idea. Being as I've been dealing with this stuff since last year, I know my body and what's wrong and what needs to be done. The ER doctor did NOT. I got to the ER at about 11:30. Strangely, my blood pressure was 60/35......way to low. I about passed out. I laid down and they gave me an anti-inflammatory for my back. Within a half hour, I felt so much better..ready to go home! But, the doctor decided to run a bunch of tests. Basically, he wanted more of my money. He ran a CBC, blood cultures, EKG, and a Cat scan. All a waste in my opinion. Everything came back ok except for the CBC. He said my white count was elevated to 20,000. A normal person's is only 10,000. I told him I had just received chemo the day before and started a bunch of new meds, which is most likely what was causing the sudden rise. He, on the other hand, started rambling on about how it could be all these other diseases. Okay buddy. I have leukimia!! I just had a bone marrow that turned out wonderful. Give me a flippin break!! He called Lutheran and got the on call doctor. Foreign guy who knows nothing about my case. The ER doctor proceeded to tell the on call oncologist what he thought was wrong with me so the on call doctor told him to send me to Lutheran. I was not happy. I TOLD the ER doctor I was fine, I did not want to go to Lutheran. I said just send me home, and if I still feel bad the next day, I'll call my own oncologist and see what she wanted me to do. Apparently, he decided not to adhere to my wishes as he said he was sending me anyways. Definitely not happy. So, I laid around in the ER until 6am....NO SLEEP except for maybe an hour. At about 6:30, the squad arrived to take me to Lutheran. What fun that was. No lights thank goodness. It should be a lovely, hefty bill though!! I got to Lutheran about 8am. I just laid in bed and watched TV til about 9:30, then the oncologist (different guy then who the ER doc spoke too) came in with Mary (she's an RN assistant to the oncologists). I told Mary to get me the heck outta there. (She was always there when I was first admitted.....great lady!) She laughed and asked why I was there cause I looked great. I said, yeah I know. I feel fine! I told her my story from the night before and that I tried telling the ER doc I didn't need to go to Lutheran but he didn't listen. She said everything seemed and looked fine from what they got from Mercer so she would talk to the doctor and get me out of there. Thank goodness!!! The doctor went ahead and ordered another CBC to double check my counts. White counts still elevated but low and behold, the doctor said it was due to my new medication. HELLO!!! Did I NOT tell the ER doc this???? He said I was fine and I checked out at 12:30. So, not happy about this little experience. Small town doc doesn't know how to react to cancer patients. Well buddy.....listen to the patient!!!!! So, I'm home, I'm fine. Only a tiny bit of pain but it's normal. And I'm exhausted!!! I can't wait to get in my own bed and SLEEP!!!! So tired!!!! Very interesting evening. I am not excited to add this to my medical expenses thats for sure. But God will provide! I have no worries there. =)

I am so excited to move into my new place. I'm right in my friend Christa's back yard, which is great!!! Moving is going to stink, as I hate doing it but that's life. I won't be moving everything thats here, there. I'm going to get things sorted. I have way to much junk. My grandpa, who turned my mother into a packrat, is some what wearing off on me and I am going to try to break it!!!! =)

So, I am so thankful to be home. NO MORE HOSPITALS FOR ME!!!! I am healthy once againand will continue to stay that way. Thank you for your continued prayers. I greatly appreciate them. I definitely can not fight this disease alone. God is always by my side!!

Miserable

I think I'm home free and everythings a-ok and I hit a stumbling block. Last night around 9, my upper back started hurting and I was getting short of breath. I took some tylenol and went to bed, hoping it'd be gone by morning. No such luck. I was still short of breath but I thought, well I'll go to work and see what happens. The pain in my upper back got worse and was still short of breath. I am now completely miserable. It feels like dejavu from last summer!!! The pain is in the same spot as where the second spinal fracture was, which worries me. I called my dr and talked to her and she thinks it may just be inflammation around where the fracture used to be, as it should be healed. So, I'm supposed to keep an eye on it and give her a call tomorrow. She said if it gets worse, to go to the ER but I hate hospitals so I'm trying to tough it out. I took some hardcore pain meds and they've kinda helped but not much. The shortness of breath isn't so bad but man does my back hurt. SO BAD!!!! I just want to cry but crying makes it hurt worse. I pray that it's not fractured again and it is just inflammation and it will be gone by morning. If not, I'm worried as to what the doctor will want me to do. I just can't seem to win!!!! The dr said that it's not the disease so no worries there. But I'm still freaked since the pain is in the same area as the second fracture and feels about how it did last summer. So, pray for me...again. I know God will heal me yet again. As for the hip and neck pain, thankfully that's gone. But I'd rather have that pain than this pain!! I am absolutely miserable!!

I signed the papers on my new apartment today =) YAY!!! I am definitely moving on April 9th and 10th (thursday and friday) and if we need too, we'll finish up on Saturday. I start paying rent on the 10th though so I'd like to have everything moved by then. Again, any and all helpers are appreciated!!! =)

Time to PARTY!!!!

Biopsy came back GREAT!!! I am officially in maintenance!!!! And I am so excited!!!!! Once a month for about a year and a half. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!! I can not even describe how wonderful I am feeling right now!!!! I made it through! God got me through! Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. They definitely worked!! What an awesome God we serve! He has taught me so much during these 7 months and has changed me for the better. It is now time to celebrate kicking this things butt!!! WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I think I found (and decided) on an apartment. I'm hoping to move Easter weekend but I don't think I'm going to have a garage sale before hand. I'm just to busy to try to plan it. So, instead, I'm going to try to sell the couch, loveseat, coffee table and end tables, and desk I have so it'll give me less stuff to move. Than, while I'm packing/moving, I'll sort stuff into a "garage sale" pile. So, if you know anyone who needs the stuff I listed above, let me know!! And, like I said, we're going to need help moving! Friday the 9th and Saturday the 10th. Last time I moved, I couldn't seem to get much help so hopefully this time, I can find more volunteers. But, we'll see =)

NO MORE CANSER-NO MORE CANSER-NO MORE CANSER!!!!! PTL PTL PTL PTL!!!!! =)

Garage sale time!!

So, I think I found a place and it's here in Celina. Nice place, decent rent. But, I have way to much junk to fit into it so I'm going to have a garage sale next weekend. I'm just praying the weather is nice for it and a lot of people show up. I have furniture to get rid of plus loads of other stuff. So, hopefully it'll go well and I'll sell everything. I think I'll be moving Easter weekend. Good Friday and Saturday. Any and all help would be greatly appreciated!!! Please get ahold of me if you can help!!

Tomorrow is my first day of maintenance. I should get my bone marrow results, which I'm praying are good and I'm sure they will be. I have to be at Lutheran at 8:30am for I.T. chemo. YUCK!! But I.T. is better than a biopsy any day!! Then, we'll head to the office for a doctor's visit and a quick chemo push. Shouldn't be too bad of a day. My hip is still bothering me and gets to hurting pretty bad. My neck hasn't been bothering quite as much today so I'm hoping that is going away. Not sure what's up with my hip though. Have to see what the dr says tomorrow. So, keep those prayers a coming!! God is continually working and I am so thankful for everything He has done in my life!!

Great Season Cavs!!!

What a busy day!! This morning started out with Junior High solo and ensemble. I had to be at Minster at 8am. Too early lol. But I made it through and the kids did pretty good. I went straight from Minster to the school to leave for the basketball game in Bowling Green. It was a great game but sadly, the Cavs lost. What a great season though!! Congrats Cavs on an outstanding season and all the excitement!! It's been great cheering them on and I can't wait til next school year!!

On another note, I am in so much pain. My back is sore from where they went in for the biopsy, my hip, butt and leg hurt from the dr hitting the nerve. Driving kills and even being a passenger hurts. Needless to say, after the long drive to and from BG and sitting through the game, I am miserable. Sitting is uncomfortable and trying to sleep is not fun. I'm praying that it heals and stops hurting, which I'm sure it will. It's just a little rough waiting for it to get better. So keep me in your prayers. Pray for healing and a new apartment!! God is always working =)

Time for more prayers

So, I found out today that I have to be out of my house by the end of April.....wonderful. I knew it was coming but I didn't think it would be this quickly. And it sucks cause I love this house. But I understand that they have to try to sell it or get a renter in here that they can make some money off of. It just sucks that I only have about a month to find something. Next week is going to be crazy with cheer and if the basketball game makes state and then the following week I'll be in NYC. So that leaves me with about 3 weeks to find a decent place and move.....AGAIN. I hate moving. So, time to pray me into a new house. I'd like to continue renting. I can't afford to buy anyways so renting will work fine. I just need a big enough place to hold all my stuff. So, pray God leads me into something nice.

Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day. We have junior high solo and ensemble until 3 and then we leave for BG for the game at 4. So a non stop day!! Hopefully the Cavs bring home a victory. Then we'll be off to state next week!! GO CAVS!!

I miss you too Am! Get ahold of me when you're in town next!!

Made it through

I made it through the biopsy. And PTL, it didn't hurt as badly as the last time. The doctor used more numbing medicine then last time which REALLY helped. Only problem we had was when she was going in for the marrow, she hit a nerve in my butt, which caused a shooting pain down my leg to my foot. Very painful. But, other than that, it went well and the marrow looked great. I start maintenance chemo on Tuesday. So glad to be done and have made it through!! Praise God for helping me through!!!! He truly is an awesome God! I'm still sore today. My butt hurts and I keep having slight pains in my leg from her hitting the nerve. It's hard to get comfortable sitting and especially sleeping!! I was able to make it to the game last night though, which was great. I didn't drive, as driving is very painful after a biopsy. The game was great and we WON!! We now play again on Saturday in Bowling Green again. I'm so excited that our team is doing so well!! It would be awesome if we made it to state! GO CAVS!!!

Biopsy day is looming

Tomorrow is the day......YUCK! I am so not looking forward to getting my biopsy tomorrow morning. And it's bright and early too, at 8:00am. Not fun. I have some meds I'm going to take to chill me out and help with the pain so we'll see how it goes. Pray that I get through ok and the test results come back great. Once we get the results back, I'll start maintenance chemo. I've still been having some hip pain and I think I pulled something in my neck as well. Either that or it's hurting due to stress from worrying about this stupid biopsy. I feel like I should go to the chiropractor but they scare me now with the whole issues with my back. So, we'll see what the doctor says tomorrow. I'm excited about the game. Definitely not excited about the long drive after getting drilled in the back but excited for the game. Hopefully the Cavs come out on top!! So tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Hopefully it is a good day!! GO CAVS!!

Weekend in review

This has been a very busy weekend. And it's going to be a very busy week! My sister and I were going to go to Winter Jams on Friday night at the coliseum in Ft. Wayne. The doors opened at 6 so we got there at 6. And WOW. I have never seen a line as long as the one of people waiting to get into the concert. Needless to say, we didn't go. 2000 people weren't able to get into the concert due to all the seats being taken. (It was a $10.00 donation concert of a bunch of christian bands) I was bummed that we weren't able to go so I'm hoping we'll get to go next year. We'll just plan on getting there even earlier!! So, after we failed at that, we walked around the mall instead.

Yesterday was busy with the district basketball game. It was a pretty exciting game. The Cavs went into the half down by 11 so I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out. But they came back out ready to win and win we did!! So, now we play in Bowling Green on Weds. night. I'm excited for the game but Weds. is not going to be a fun day as I'm to get my biopsy at 8:00am that morning. I'm praying that it doesn't hurt as bad as it normally does and that I'm not in to much pain afterwards. It's going to be a rough trip to BG though, that's for sure! So keep me in your prayers for that day!! As long as the test comes back good, I'll start maintenance chemo, which is once a month. I'm so thankful to be done with all the rough stuff!! Praise God for getting me through the past few months!!

Today was our end of year cheer banquet. It went very well. It's strange though to have the end of year banquet and yet still be in season. But, it's also very exciting!! This week starts cheer clinics for next year's tryouts. If we continue to advance in tournament, I'm going to have to do some rearranging for tryouts but I think I've got it figured out. It would be so awesome if we made it to state!! Go Cavs!!!!

So, all in all its been a pretty good weekend. I got to see my sister and her family, and also my parents yesterday. We went there for dinner, which was nice. It's always great to spend time with my nephews....and of course everyone else =) My left hip has been bothering me this week. It went away but then it came back today. Very painful and I'm not sure why. I'll definitely be notifying my doctor about it on Weds. I'm sure it's nothing but still....better safe than sorry! So keep praying!! Almost through it!! God is definitely still and always working.

Let's go Cavs!

Well, we won our tournament game last night, which was so exciting!! It was a great game! We now play on Saturday at 1:00pm for the District title. Should be another exciting one!! =)

My bone marrow biopsy is scheduled for Weds. morning. Not looking forward to it but I know I'll get through it and be fine. Just keep me in your prayers!! Pray that it's not too painful and the results come back good (which I know they will!). The kicker is, if we win Saturday, we'll play on Weds. night. Which will be interesting after a biopsy but I know I'll get through.

I was hoping to start back up at Highmarks next month. Once the biopsy results come back and I start maintenance, I think I'll be ready to start working again. I had thought that I was going to be able to get my Weds. night bar shift back. I recall being told that it was there for me when I was well enough to take it back. But, apparently, the girl who took it over can't afford to give it up-which I understand.....but still. I never wanted to stop working it in the first place....I kinda had to due to my health. And I was under the impression the entire time I was fighting canser, that I was going to be able to get it back when I was ready. But, I guess not. Yes, I'm upset. I loved that shift, especially with golf season coming up and my golfers. But, I am trying to be positive and know God has something planned for me. Like I told my sister, maybe God is telling me I'm not ready to start bartending yet. And, I know that if a shift becomes available, they're going to notify me. And the girl working Weds. night bar is moving in August or September and I'm able to get it back then, if I want. So, we'll see what happens. I've definitely got to do something to get me through the summer with household bills and medical expenses. Yikes!! No worry's though. God will provide. He always does =)

Do not worry

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink or about your body,what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:25-27

Turn of events

Well, no bone marrow biopsy for me tomorrow! And I can't say I'm upset about it lol. My counts are slightly better than before but still not high enough for a biopsy so, we're rescheduling it for next week. So, I get a week off. The basketball game is back to being on weds now only it's not starting til 9! Kinda late in my opinion but I'll be there! On a side note, I'm typing this post on my phone as for some unknown reason, my internet on my computer is acting up. So if my post is all screwy, it's because of my phone. But anyways, here's to a great week off! =)

Things are getting crazy

It has been a wild week. With my crazy counts, the basketball game on Friday, and band and choir contest on Saturday, I am whipped!!! Friday night was pretty exciting. It was a great game and the Cavs came out on top, winning the Sectional title. We now play on Tuesday, which may cause a slight problem for me, as that's the scheduled day for my biopsy. I'm supposed to get bloodwork done again on Monday to see where my counts are. If they are still low, then the biopsy will be rescheduled. If they are ok, than we'll still do it this week. Now, I just need to try to reschedule it for Weds, as there is NO WAY I want to have it done on Tuesday, then try to go to a basketball game (which I am NOT missing!!). So, we'll see. Saturday was fun. Yes, I was extremely tired but I made it through. The choir got a II which is good but they didn't qualify for state. The band got a I which means they do qualify for state. So exciting!! I am so proud of all of them!! It's going to be a crazy next few weeks to get them prepared for state, which is in May. But, I know they can do it! Plus, we'll be going to NYC in April, which I'm so excited for! I've been there before but can't wait to go back. So the last few months of school will be busy! I'm so ready to get back to normal and get my energy back. Though I'm not excited about this stupid biopsy. But, once I get through it, we'll start maintenance. And I know God will get me through it.

On another note, if you follow my blog, click on the followers tab to the right of the post. I'd love to see who all reads it! =)

So very tired.....

I had bloodwork done again today. Since my counts were lower Monday then last week, they wanted to check them again today, before the weekend. And........they are even lower then they were Monday!! My white count is only 1.1 which is so not good. With all the illness going around school, I'm so lucky (and THANKFUL!) that I haven't gotten sick yet. I've been so exhausted this entire week but have been so determined to get to work every day, with choir and band contest being Saturday. I need a day where I can just crash and sleep. I'm supposed to get my bone marrow biopsy done on Tuesday but they can't do it with my counts being so low so who knows if it'll happen next week or not. I have to call them tomorrow and find out. So, we'll see what they say. I know I should be taking it easy but this is not the week for it. Once I get to Sunday, I can relax, sleep and get back on my feet. Keep praying!! I'm not through fighting this yet!

DONE

Last chemo=DONE! I am so glad to be through it!! My counts today were lower than they were last week, which isn't good. I still need to be careful (VERY careful) to make sure I don't get sick. The doctor wants my counts to be higher before we do the bone marrow so I have to get a CBC done on Thursday to check my counts again. I have an appointment on Tuesday for the biopsy. NOT looking forward to it but I know I'll get through. As soon as those results are back, we'll start maintenance. Sooooo, just gotta get through this biopsy. I'm trying not to worry about it or think about it. I know God will get me through =) He's gotten me this far.

ONE MORE!!!!!

ONE MORE TREATMENT!!!!! Tomorrow is my LAST treatment. And I am so excited!!!! Granted, I'm not looking forward to the bone marrow biopsy next week but I know it's needed in order to make sure everythings still on track. Once I get those results, we'll start maintenance, which is once a month for 2 years. That once a month visit will be bloodwork, visit with the doctor, and a quick push of Vincristine. All of which are so easy to handle. I am SO READY to be done!!! I will definitely be celebrating once I start maintenance!! PRAISE GOD for getting me through all of this!!!!

I'm still reading the book "Crazy, Sexy Cancer Tips" and I just finished the chapter on wellness and nutrition and let me tell you.....it kinda freaked me out! It talked about your insides, which the main thing that got me was my colon. I won't go into detail but basically if you don't have a bowel movement 3 times a day (which you're supposed too) then by the end of the year, you will be 864 bowel movements short! YUCK! Just think of all the crap (literally lol) that's stored up inside you!! Not healthy!!! And my mom has been talking to me alot about eating raw fruits and veggies and the Hallelujah diet, well this book talked alot about that as well. Alot of what we put into our bodies does not get digested properly and doesn't give us the proper nutrition we need. If we simply just change our eating habits, we can fight all sorts of diseases! So weird. Now I can tell you, I'm not going to completely change my eating habits right away but I am going to try to start eating more of what the book says to eat! Starting with green, leafy vegetables (salad!!). So, sorry if I grossed anybody out, but seriously.......we're all full of crap lol =)